


time is all i have (when it comes to you)

by markleeder



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Changing POVs, Friendship, Happy Ending, Human Johnny, M/M, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, anti-cupid doyoung, cupid ten, endgame johnkun, guardian angel kun, guardians cupids and anti-cupids are all angels, kun centric, new characters almost every chapter, platonic dotenkun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21692557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markleeder/pseuds/markleeder
Summary: -When Jaehyun and Taeyong finally acknowledge their feelings for each other, Johnny looks at them fondly, wistfully, wishful for a someone to reciprocate, give and receive all that he has to offer.Kun wonders what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that look from Johnny. Suddenly he feels frustrated knowing that even if he stands in front of Johnny, Johnny would always look past him.(or, Guardian angel Kun with his clumsy human Johnny Seo ft. a couple of cupid-anti cupid best friends)
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Suh Youngho | Johnny/Qian Kun
Comments: 33
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ive been ruminating over this for a year and im glad to finally put it up here. this is more kun centric than anything else and super self indulgent. and it all started with an image of doyoung with an axe.  
> this is my first hyungline fic after a long time. tell me what you think!

-

Kun lands gracefully on Johnny’s front porch, tucking his wings in as he turns around to see both his friends perched on a low branch of the tree in Johnny’s front yard. It’s too early in the morning for work but Ten is playing his flute today and Kun can only hope for the entire day to be as good as the music makes him feel.

“You're early” Doyoung comments from the side when Kun walks to them, not looking up from where he’s sharpening his tomahawk with a file. Ten winks at him in greeting and slides his flute into his arm sleeve. The very same one, Kun has to remind himself sometimes, that changes into a blowgun when Ten needs to dart someone.

“The clock’s set for earlier today. It’s odd” Kun shrugs, turning around to look at the house. Johnny is still asleep, so that’s good. “I think I should go take a look”

“Not so fast sweetie” Ten stops him as soon as he turns around. “Stop right there”

“What now?” Kun asks. It’s nothing good when Ten takes to his saccharine tone. Kun hates it when it’s directed at him. As non-human entity, it doesn’t affect him as intended but Kun is a sucker for his cupid friend anyway, so Ten knows when to take advantage of it. Even if he uses it sparingly.

“Your orb is nearly drained” Ten nods towards Kun’s staff. There on top of Kun’s twisted wood staff floats a golf ball sized orb with ichor; the champagne coloured liquid which is supposed to last Kun three more months till the end of the year. Kun draws it away sheepishly. As if he could hide a stick that big.

“That’s not going to last you three more months” Ten chides him. Kun knows that look. He sighs, knowing he’s fucked up yet again. The orb doesn’t automatically refill till the year turns. “400 years on the job, and I’ve seen you through at least half of these assignments. Not once have you fallen short _this_ badly”

“I’m sorry, I’ll think of a way. I promise” Kun tries to reassure him. He has no idea when he’s going to have the time to figure it all out. It’s all very distressing to think about but his first priority has always been his human. And he can’t help it if Johnny is more than a handful.

“I want to believe you” Ten says, curling his hand into Kun’s nape and playing with the ends of his hair. “But I know how forgetful you are about taking care of yourself and I’m not ready to lose you”

Kun leans into his touch. “You won’t lose me”

Ten’s short burst of laugh is enough to make Kun smile and Doyoung finally look up at them. Ten presses a kiss to Kun’s head. “We don’t know what happens if the orb runs out, so till then, you’re going to keep listening to me”

“I’ll be fine” Kun protests weakly.

Doyoung scoffs. “Fine, my ass. I’ve been through the Archives and there’s not one word on what happens to guardian angels should such a thing happen before it’s time to refill” he leans close to Kun. “Nobody knows what happens to them. They disappear without a trace and are never heard from again. Some say they turn to dust”

Doyoung makes a loud _poof!_ and startles Kun. 

“Ignore him. That’s his way of showing he cares” Ten shakes his head when Doyoung makes a show of rolling his eyes.

“I’ll be fine Doyoung” Kun places his hand on Doyoung’s knee to reassure him.

“Says you again, like the last six times” Doyoung only has eyes for the axe he’s flipping in his hands but he glances at Kun briefly with an infuriating smirk. “Sometimes I think you just want a kiss from me”

Kun smacks his knee with a hiss.

“You know that’s what’s right. And that’s what you should do” Ten nods. “Just kiss Doyoung and get it over with. It’ll restore your orb”

“I’m sure there are other ways to go about this”

“Not when you’re short of time, no”

“It wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so attached to this… _Johnny_ ” Doyoung rolls his eyes. “You’re much too protective of him and it expends more of your energy than necessary. You end up using more than what’s assigned to you for the entire year” he taps the orb with the handle of his axe.

“I’m not _that_ protective. Sometimes he’s just…not aware of the length of his limbs, or—or his immediate surroundings—he forgets to eat on time what do you want me to _do_ —”

“I agree he can be a disaster sometimes but you’re his guardian angel baby, not his nanny” Ten crosses his arms in front of himself, daring Kun to refute that. Kun can’t because he knows it’s true. Johnny just, worries him sometimes. He’s too nice a human. They don’t make his kind a lot these days and Kun just, wants to pet his hair and wrap him in a warm blanket.

He shakes his head to rid himself of the images. He has wanted Johnny to live without troubles, to the extent he’s even tried to save Johnny the pain from stubbing his toe.

Kun stills at the thought and runs a hand through his face, agonizing that his friends are right. Maybe he’s overdone it again. Maybe, it was time to reset.

“If you want a kiss, now’s the time. I have somewhere to be” Doyoung drawls from the side, pushing his tomahawk back into its harness. It snaps Kun out of his thoughts. He feels a little hesitant about this.

“You know what an anti-cupid’s kiss will do don’t you Kun. Nothing to worry about” Ten pats his shoulder placatingly.

“How could I forget?” he smiles thinly, “It’ll cause my attachment for Johnny to neutralise and reset the contents of my orb” Kun recites. _Like the last six times._ He flexes his neck and steps close to Doyoung.

“Attachment? I say intense affection” Doyoung mutters, hopping off the branch to stand in front of Kun. Non-human entity cannot love, is what Ten says, nor do their ‘equipment’ affect each other in any way. But Kun’s dedication to Johnny Seo sure deserved a name.

“Borderline obsession” Ten coughs into the back of his hand. Kun controls the urge to roll his eyes.

He pulls Doyoung close. “Do it before I change my mind” he taps his staff on the ground to make it disappear.

This is not what Kun prefers but since they don’t know any other way, this will have to do. Forgetting his attachment to Johnny scares him a little, in the way he feels he won’t be able to properly do his job if the very same attachment didn’t push him to do it better. This is why he hesitates. But Ten reminds him again that he’s done this, six times already and he’s still doing a good job with Johnny so there’s nothing to worry about.

Getting kissed is going to return him to being as unfeeling and neutral as he was when he was first assigned to Johnny. It won’t make him forget Johnny but will create the conditions that allow him to reclaim his ichor. The liquid keeps him immortal and ensures his passage home. Home was a warm a delightful place. Nothing like this tired world. His only purpose is to work, and well enough to graduate to the next plane. He can’t imagine not going home.

He shivers when Doyoung cups his face and tips his chin up with his thumb. No matter how many times he faces Doyoung, he’ll never get used to this. It’s odd having to be so intimate with a long-time, well-meaning friend, but it isn’t entirely uncomfortable. So Kun goes the way Doyoung guides him and brings his hands up to Doyoung’s coat. Doyoung curls his arm around Kun’s shoulder, pulls him close and kisses him deeply till Ten smacks the back of his head and snaps them out of it.

Kun wobbles first, feeling a little light headed and then he sees Doyoung lick his lips and grunt.

“Killjoy” Doyoung grumbles at Ten and turns away to leap onto the branch again. Kun summons his staff and sighs when he sees the orb full. It pops back to reveal an hourglass which flips over to remind him of Johnny and the countdown to his next mishap. Which is soon.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be demon?” Ten scoffs when Doyoung looms over him. “What’s the first one today?” Ten eyes the throwing knives strapped to Doyoung’s thigh. “Dreams of separation? Doubt?”

“Heartbreak” Doyoung smiles wickedly and leaps off the branch to teleport to his assignment, disappearing mid jump in a cloud of ash.

“Show off” Ten coughs, “I wish my job was to make others as miserable as I feel”

He turns to Kun when there’s no response. And true to his suspicion, Kun is distracted, his eyes flying to take in the surrounding and deduce what might come for Johnny this early in the day.

“Back to work already?”

“I just need to know what’s going to happen—”

“—to decide whether you want to let it happen or not” Ten knows Kun only has till the hourglass jiggles to warn for the last minute. “I know. It can’t be _that_ bad. What’s the worst that could happen when he’s asleep?”

“Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?” Kun mumbles, but it doesn’t stop him from going inside the house. Ten follows closely behind as he strikes away everything on his mental checklist it couldn’t be. He walks into Johnny’s room, thankful for the minimal furnishing and looks around for things that could fall, things that could spontaneously combust, anything at all.

Johnny is asleep, stomach down, sheets kicked away and face pressed into a soft whale plushie. Kun notices the previously obvious urge to want to prevent anything bad from happening to Johnny, missing. Even though he still feels the need to figure out the cause of anything that could hurt Johnny (it’s literally his job to know and it’s how he operates, he reasons), the urgent need to do so is dull.

He walks to Johnny’s side of the king-sized bed and frowns when he sees several bills strewn across the floor. Distantly, he hears a vehicle pull into their lane and recognises the sound. He rushes out to the garage and stops short.

Ten slams into his back. “What is it?” he asks, knowing Kun has figured it out.

“He’s forgotten to take out the garbage. The dump truck is here doing the weekly round and he’s going to slip on the papers on the floor beside his bed trying to answer the front door” Kun shakes his head. “What am I going to do with him?”

“You’re going to let him be” Ten says, just as the hourglass jiggles with a warning. Kun flies them both up to Johnny’s room. The doorbell rings once. Johnny shifts. Kun bites his lip and slumps against Johnny’s wardrobe, defeated.

“I’m going to let it happen” Kun says. Ten smiles back proudly.

The doorbell rings impatiently, prompting Johnny to rise as if to his alarm. He tries to smother himself with the nearest pillow he can reach but one more press of the bell, and Johnny sits up with a groan. He can hardly open his eyes but the annoyance is clear on his handsome swollen face. He steps off the side of his bed to stalk down to his front door and give the person a piece of his mind.

Except, one step forward and he finds himself on his ass, breath knocked out of him and it jerks him awake. Kun stiffens and Ten cackles from the side when Johnny curses loudly, scrambling up to rush downstairs. Kun doesn’t follow him down. His hourglass flips over and resets for the next mishap. Thankfully that isn’t until the end of the day.

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” Ten nudges Kun’s shoulder with his own. “Let down your hair for once and chill out. He’s twenty-six, not a naïve toddler. He’ll be fine”

Kun nods. The initial horror of not doing anything to stop Johnny from slipping is slowly leaving him. Maybe he did need to tone down a little bit. Johnny isn’t made of glass, he remembers Doyoung saying last year.

“I’ll try” Kun says as Ten readies to fly out to get to work. “Try not to be too mean out there today”

“I’m only nice to you Kunkun” Ten leans close to press a kiss to his temple before climbing on to the window sill. He turns to grin at Kun.

“You’re a _cupid_ for god’s sake” Kun begins but Ten flies out, his laughter filling the front yard. “Behave!” Kun yells.

Kun watches Johnny come back and drag himself into the bathroom. He pities him for being woken up so early on a weekend. He decides to wait in the kitchen. He does a quick scan of the area, knowing Johnny will be down here for breakfast soon. It’s standard checks. You can’t be too alert when your human’s choices could sometimes alter the hourglass readings.

He keeps remembering what his friends said and lets himself take a little break. His friends were an odd duo. It was uncommon for a cupid and anti-cupid to come within a fifty feet radius of each other, especially when they were angels assigned to the same sector. Even more uncommon for them to be friends. Doyoung has always been about following the Law, but Ten was just as stubborn about doing what he thinks is right, which in this case happened to be invading Doyoung’s personal space enough times to watch him crumble and begrudgingly admit that he ‘appreciated Ten’s presence in his banal work life’.

He hears Johnny come out of the shower upstairs. Slow holiday mornings with ’89 Bob Dylan on his record player, Kun appreciates the throwback.

It’s reassuring to always be able to recognise Johnny’s footsteps no matter where they are. Seeing the house go from accommodating four people to just one was disquieting. His parents have moved back to his hometown and his cousin Mark is finishing up university but now, Johnny’s presence fills up the house. Kun was sent here six years ago to walk Johnny through his seven and a half years of bad luck. He’s seen Johnny pick himself up and become the embodiment of patience and positivity that he is today and frankly, he couldn’t be more thankful (even if that had meant using up extra ichor on his part).

Johnny makes his way downstairs with his record player. He freezes in the doorway to the hall because the sail of his windchime smacks him in the forehead. Kun laughs as Johnny’s face twists in annoyance, because this is a common occurrence. It’s a gift from Mark which he is loath to throw away. It used to hang on the doorway to the backyard, but Johnny put it where there was absolutely no wind because it got too loud sometimes. It stopped tinkling much too frequently, but at the cost of an angry red patch on Johnny’s forehead every once in a while.

“Great day this is already” Johnny mutters to the empty house, sliding the offending object away and leaves the windchime tinkling.

“Good morning to you too, Johnny Seo” Kun smiles. Johnny steps into the hall, rubbing his forehead as he walks past Kun into the kitchen. He makes himself coffee and settles on the couch with the day’s newspaper. Kun reads over his shoulder as Johnny grumbles about the headlines.

This is one of things Kun appreciates about Johnny, that he is talkative, mumbling to himself when he reads or cooks or anyhow really. A lot of his previous humans kept to themselves, so Kun’s days then were boring and slow. But Johnny likes to think out loud and Kun couldn’t be happier (‘more entertainment’ Ten had said).

When Johnny decides on toast later, he gets a phone call.

“I’m supposed to what?” Johnny almost yells at the caller. “It’s my day off. You can’t be serious”

It’s the office. Kun can tell as much from the veins that are popping on Johnny’s forehead as the conversation gets out of hand very quickly.

“You’re giving me barely an hour to prepare for a presentation. You want me to stand in front of our management with a presentation someone else made” Kun can see Johnny’s nostrils flare, “and I don’t appreciate it. The least you could do is send a vehicle” Johnny responds curtly and ends the call. His grip on the phone is tight enough to dent it but he sighs instead, pushes his hair back and tries to ground himself.

“Will you be alright?” Kun asks, knowing very well Johnny couldn’t hear him.

“I don’t get paid enough for this shit” Johnny says and runs upstairs to his room. He’s made up his mind, which makes Kun’s hourglass comes to halt. It resets to a new countdown and Kun sighs. This is what he was dreading. It was such a nice morning too.

When he flies up into Johnny’s room, Johnny’s already pulling up the pants of his grey suit and tucking his shirt in. Kun’s hourglass jiggles restlessly as he looks around, frantic for clues. Johnny’s moving around the room too fast to be able to tell. Kun’s hourglass splits into several. He’s got a succession of minor incidents lined up that do not require his intervention.

It starts like this. Johnny knocks his heel into the side of his bed and falls onto the bed abruptly on his ass. It doesn’t stop him from rushing. Kun stays out of the way.

“Careful with the—”

Johnny knocks over several cans of cologne when he tries to put the used one back in place. They go down and Johnny contemplates leaving them right there on the floor.

“Pick them up or you’re going to slip on them later” Kun says. Johnny groans and bends to pick them all up, but leaves them all on his bed. Kun slaps his forehead. It isn’t long until Johnny slams his elbow into the wall. Kun hisses. _That must hurt_. If the way Johnny goes face-first into his bed and screams into his pillow says anything, it hurts _bad_. He shifts to try and soothe his elbow by rubbing it but a cologne can digs into his side.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Johnny howls and stands. He takes a deep breath, rubbing his numb elbow and looks around the room.

“That’s right darling, take a minute. Calm down” Kun leans against the wall. “You’re okay”

Johnny knows he’ll be fine. He smooths down the creases on his shirt. He’ll be fine, there’s still time. His phone pings with a notification. Both Kun and Johnny lean over the phone to see a mail with the dreaded presentation. Johnny grabs his jacket and runs out.

“You forgot your glasses!” Kun stays clear of the door because Johnny comes running back exactly four seconds later, scrambling to look for the pair he doesn’t remember where he left. Kun’s hourglass is warning him again but Johnny’s already running out. Kun tries to keep up when Johnny goes bounding down the stairs and he really should’ve known Johnny would jump two steps at a time.

He can’t help but reach out this time, when Johnny predictably gets his sleeve caught in the railing and jerks back, consequently, slipping on a step. Kun hooks his staff into his collar and pulls him down. Johnny lands on his ass for the third time that day.

He feels winded. He notes briefly that he could have slipped further down and that could have snapped his wrist. Kun sits on the stair above him, wishing he could place a reassuring hand on Johnny’s shoulder at least. He’s not allowed to.

“We don’t run down the stairs with our _socks_ on Johnny” Kun chides him gently, hoping somehow Johnny would know not to do it again.

Johnny stays there for another minute, thinking about the last ten minutes.

“That’s the worst that could happen today” he says to himself, unhooking his sleeve from the swirling wrought iron baluster. “The rest of the day will be better” he picks up his jacket that had tumbled down and goes to the hall to get his bag. He comes back out again with his shoes and sits on the stairs to tie them on.

There’s another mishap waiting to happen soon but Kun just sits there and stares at Johnny. It’s not so much bad luck as it is Johnny’s own clumsiness. Where he’s had to save his humans from hostage situations or oncoming traffic, most of Johnny’s mishaps are set into motion by his own actions. Saving Johnny from Johnny isn’t easy.

“What’s that smell?” Kun sniffs. He flies to the kitchen and Lord give him strength, there’s bread burning in the toaster. He wishes he wasn’t in this situation after the lecture Ten and Doyoung had given him a few hours ago.

 _‘You’re not his nanny’_ There’s Ten’s face again. Kun could switch off the toaster, except he's not allowed to affect the mortal world that much.

 _‘Please, you’d make him a sandwich if you were allowed to’_ and there’s Doyoung.

Kun bites his lip. He can hear Johnny turn the knob to step out of the house. He knows Johnny’s running late but this is dangerous and requires attention. With his staff he knocks the door in the kitchen that opens into the backyard.

Johnny comes in, sighs at himself after looking at the toaster and bins the burned toast before finally heading for the door. He consciously avoids the windchime this time and dryly cheers for himself.

He prays to whatever higher power is out there, to “ _Please_ somehow make the rest of my day…less eventful” and lets his head fall against the door with a dull thud. He hears a honk from outside and oh good, at least his ride’s here.

He hears the windchime then. He turns around to look at it with a smile and he’s convinced that the angels have heard him. Kun stands in the doorway, right below the windchime shaking his head fondly at Johnny. He was used to Johnny’s tendencies of randomly appealing to the universe.

And who was he to deny such requests? He responded to them all with a tinkle, a sign Johnny was happy to receive.

A windchime tinkling where there was no wind; Johnny had an inkling someone was watching over him. Or a hope that someone truly was. He had just accepted to live with whatever it was.

The car honks again. Johnny bites his lip to hide the grin that splits his face as he looks back at the windchime. Any more importance to it, it would become a superstition.

He nods to himself. Time to leave.

Kun looks at his hourglass. It hasn’t flipped back for a new countdown. Which means Johnny’s clear for the rest of the day. He looks at his orb, mostly full of liquid still and feels pleased with himself as he flies to join Johnny.

It’s going to be a good day.

x

The new year comes around very quickly. Kun has depleted a tiny bit more ichor than acceptable but it swirls in the orb and is restored fully once the clock strikes twelve. Johnny clinks his can of beer against Jaehyun’s and Kun is only thankful Doyoung and Ten aren’t around to nag him about his little miscalculation. It’s one of their longest workdays of the year.

Friday evening, New Year’s Eve, Johnny and his best friend had plans to pre-game and then go club hopping. Johnny had few friends but many, many acquaintances and he had plans to meet most of them tonight. But one thing led to another, and they were still here talking, giggling and wasted well towards midnight. Kun stays just to whisper his wishes, hoping that Johnny hears him in his inebriated state.

He does, if the grin stretched across his face is any indication. Both men are draped across a sofa each and bemoan their lacklustre days. Jaehyun has only recently landed his dream job at a radio station and things are looking better for him.

Johnny slides down the armrest and curls into himself, half sure he’s imagined the voice. It makes him happy nevertheless.

“You too Dandan. Have a great year” he whispers. Johnny had given them a name, whoever it was that was looking out for him. Dandan was his previous neighbour’s cat that ran away and never came back. But Dandan liked Johnny and that was enough.

Despite his friends’ warnings, Kun is perhaps now, a _little_ attached to his giant human. That’s all he admits to himself for now. This is going down the same road, for the seventh time and he is not ready to face the rest of it. Especially not because Johnny looks absolutely adorable bundled up in his coats and has taken to calling him cute names like _‘Dandanie’._

Kun’s seven and a half years with Johnny were almost up. All he can do now is be happy about not forgetting his compassion for Johnny as the year turned and resolutely not react every time Johnny begins a sentence with _‘Dandanie’._

“Hmm?” Jaehyun rolls over to take a look Johnny. “There’s a dog here? You’ve always wanted a dog”

“There’s an angel here Jaehyunnie” Johnny giggles.

“Let me tell you about _my_ angel Johnny” Jaehyun begins. Kun knows where this one’s going. As if Johnny and he both hadn’t listened to Jaehyun squeal about Taeyong several times already. That wedding planner from the office across the street from Jaehyun’s workplace.

Kun knows they’ll be just fine tonight. He barely restrains himself from reaching for the windchime as he turns to leave. Johnny’s uncontrollable laughter is enough reassurance for Kun to finally fly away, all the way home.

x

Johnny knows in his heart that Dandan, on some metaphysical level, exists.

How else is he going to convince himself of some of the mildly absurd things that happen around the house? Jaehyun had dismissed the windchime theory (‘there are drafts of wind sometimes Johnny, you can’t possibly tell’) but how was he going to explain the voices Johnny has heard? The ones which jerk him awake with a call of his name when he’s tired at work and his eyes are droopy.

He never remembers the voice. It’s like forgetting a dream instantly after waking up. But he’s named them Dandan because he needs someone to complain to. Believing in Dandan seemed like a great way to go for now. Even if for a little while. His days are comparably happier than after the time his parents and Mark had left.

He hasn’t been hallucinating, seeing any apparitions so he tells himself he’s not _completely_ crazy but sometimes he finds himself thinking that things would probably be a whole lot easier if he did.

“Johnny” Jaehyun says one day “You should probably go see someone about this. Or I don’t know, your work is making you so miserable that you’re latching onto things that aren’t there”

“I’ll be fine” Johnny reassures him. “It isn’t affecting me negatively, I promise. Work has always been unsatisfying. And that’s a whole different thing”

“You seem happier these days, so I don’t want to push it” Jaehyun nods in understanding. “But you’ve given this—this thing— a name! I don’t want you getting too attached” He frowns, “and what happens when and if Mark comes back to live with you? How are you going to explain Dandan to him? That boy’s going to freak out”

“He doesn’t have to know Jaehyun” Johnny sighs. “I won’t get attached. Besides, it’s probably a temporary thing. I don’t feel Dandan’s presence around the house all that much anymore”

Jaehyun hums in response. “You should do something about that stupid marketing job of yours. It’s sucking the life out of you”

“It’s good money and helps pay off maintenance” Johnny’s place was his family home. He couldn’t just abandon it because it caused a strain on his pay check. He already uses public transport to travel, indulges himself as little as possible and works his ass off for that bonus and possible promotion.

“Why don’t you just shift to an apartment? You know that’s convenient. Or come live with me in mine. It’ll be just like in University” Jaehyun suggests. “But infinitely better”

“You know I can’t. But you’re welcome to move in with me too. There’s that option” Johnny puts in between them.

“Right. You won’t let me pay you. The most you’ll let me do is buy groceries and the most I get is to make sure you eat on time” Jaehyun rolls his eyes.

“That doesn’t sound so bad”

“I’m tempted but I’m under contract for the apartment for two more years” Jaehyun sighs. The silence stretches for a while, but it’s comfortable, as it has always been between them. Jaehyun is the one to break it this time. “I’ve seen you happier when you used to deliver pizzas during our University days John”

“We had less responsibilities”

“We owe it to ourselves to live happily while doing things we love, and that remains the same hyung” Jaehyun pats his back. “You taught me that”

x

Kun had resolved to be more careful around Johnny. He had let on several things in some of his less than professional moments. He knows Johnny is holding onto the idea of his existence because it’s convenient to him. But if Johnny really finds out that angels like Kun and his friends are real, that would be troublesome. The thought of all the unpleasant investigations that would follow is headache inducing.

Johnny is in office at his workstation today, frequently having to get up to answer calls or guide the interns on designing promotional materials. The colleague who sits beside him is absent and it’s in his chair that Kun lounges as he watches Johnny work. All mishaps for the day are in the clear. He could fly home, take some time to himself but he decides to stay until after Johnny’s office just in case. His resolve to remain careful and unresponsive so far is working wonderfully.

That’s until Doyoung teleports into the office floor, very near Kun from a cloud of ash, and sends him crashing onto the floor in his chair. Kun has never _panicked_ in all his centuries of work, but when Johnny looks his way, first in confusion, then trying to see what could possibly cause a chair to topple sideways _on its own_ , Kun thinks panic might be a good way to describe how he feels.

He can hear his pulse in his ears. As the entire floor goes completely silent and turns to look at him, he seems to remember that he’s invisible to the mundane.

He scrambles away when Johnny kneels to lift the chair upright and slide it back in place. The people around him return to work, the noise on the floor settling into sounds of machines and the dull murmur of conversation. 

“There goes your chair” Doyoung offers his hand to help Kun up.

“Whose fault is that?” Kun smacks Doyoung’s chest with the back of his hand before fully turning to face him. “What brings you here?”

“Orders” he opens his palm. A thin strip of white fabric floats above it, which soon disappears with a pop. Kun wonders who the unlucky recipient of Doyoung’s knives is today. Or is it the axe? The thought makes him shudder.

“Do you have to?”

“It’s literally my job Kun”

“But you can choose not to act on the orders”

“It’s an option for sure. but it’s not like any of these people are saints. There’s a reason orders are generated at all”

Doyoung leaves Kun a little distressed right where he’s standing to go two rows down.

He leans over a woman, Jisoo, and whispers in her ear. Kun watches the frown form on Jisoo’s face. Her eyes shift as if she’s being reminded of something. She glances at her phone charging on the side of her workstation and then shakes her head, dismissing the thoughts Doyoung is planting into her patiently.

Doyoung looks back at Kun and winks before leaning in to whisper again. This time Jisoo bites her lip as she leans back stiffly on her seat under the weight of Doyoung’s words. The second she grabs her phone, Doyoung slides out his knife and slams it into her chest.

Kun flinches.

Jisoo jumps up from her seat, looking rather uneasy as she excuses herself. Kun gapes as she walks past him into the conference room. Doyoung comes to stand beside him. He’s only ever seen Doyoung throw those knives from impossible distances and odd angles. Those didn’t seem as callous or brutal as it did when Doyoung walked up to stab the insecurity into them.

“So that’s why Ten calls you demon”

“Not you too”

Jisoo pacing around the room is so distracting that even Johnny leans back to see what’s happening. Jisoo’s calls don’t go through. She’s close to tears but tries to calm herself somehow.

“What did you do?”

“She’s let her cheating partner get away with it multiple times. I did her a favour” Doyoung moves his grey coat aside so the array of knives on his thigh is visible. Kun is sure Doyoung had fuelled her doubt from the way Jisoo keeps calling someone, possibly needing answers.

“No axe?” Kun asks, leaning over to see it hanging on Doyoung’s other side. That one severs relationships once and for all.

“That’s happening tonight” Doyoung announces indifferently and it makes Kun shudder. Doyoung watches Johnny squint at his screen and reach for his coffee without looking at it. Which is a supremely stupid thing to do except Johnny’s hands curl around nothing. Once, twice, till he snaps out of it and turns to look for the evasive object.

“What’s wrong with noodle man over here?” Doyoung asks, “has he finally lost it?”

Kun scratches his head sheepishly as Johnny crosses his arms across his chest. It was farther away than he remembers. It was surely within his reach. He’s worn out from the day but he does realise that he should be more careful about blindly reaching out for hot coffee. Did someone drink from his cup while he was away for a minute? He twirls around in his chair to look but nobody seems suspicious. Suddenly he remembers the chair toppling over and—

No way Dandan could be here in his office. Now that’s just absurd.

“What did you do?” Doyoung turns to Kun accusatorily.

“Nothing I swear” Kun raises his arms defensively. It was just minutes before Doyoung had so rudely arrived that Kun had managed to, rather inconspicuously, push Johnny’s coffee half a foot away. Doyoung didn't need to know that.

Doyoung rolls his eyes and scoffs. Of course, he wasn’t buying it. “Kun, you can’t help with everything, we’ve talked about this”

“I’m fine I swear. It’s not without reason”

“Really? How much have you the drained the orb already? I haven’t seen the staff out around you at all”

“It gets in the way of work over here”

“Kun. Listen to me” Doyoung grips Kun’s shoulder painfully hard. “You can’t always help him. If you help him so much, you’ll feel worse when things happen that aren’t up to you. You won’t be able to help him then”

“I don’t know what that is supposed to mean”

“What if, tomorrow, I get orders to axe his heartstrings? Are you going to stop me? You’re not allowed to interfere with Ten or my job even if you are higher on the hierarchy”

“You won’t do it”

“If not me, then someone else Kun” Doyoung sighs. “There are some intangible things you can’t possibly affect. If you become overprotective of him now, there’s no saving him later” Doyoung says. “There’s no saving _you_ later” Doyoung hints the contents of his orb and Kun _knows_ he’s right.

Back when Johnny was lonely and passive, Kun remembers not being able to do a thing. He never wants to feel that helpless again. He powers were limited to the physical realm.

“Our job, is to give them a nudge or plant an idea in their head. What they do with it is up to them” Doyoung says, more gently than Kun thought was ever possible. “Your job is to protect them but moderately. Let them make mistakes. They are human after all”

Johnny is just a name that was delivered to his doorstep in a fancy envelope; someone who will never know him nor how his extra efforts are a hazard to his job and very life. But he cannot find it in himself to deny Johnny his time and effort. Johnny is worth the trouble.

-


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little late but she's here!
> 
> TW: talk about death and death-like situations. mention of the word "suicidal"  
> please note that even though uncertain futures including death-like situations is an underlying theme here in the story, the initial warnings and tags of the story have not changed.
> 
> happy reading!

-

On a Sunday, Johnny is determined to get the entire house vacuumed, his laundry done, his bills paid and the fridge restocked. After a hot shower of course.

Kun abandons a half-eaten apple in the kitchen when hears Johnny shriek inhumanely upstairs. When he flies up straight through the floorboards 100% expecting a cockroach, it’s only Johnny in front of the mirror with hair gel. He’s unearthed the tube from somewhere and gone ape-shit on his hair.

Kun watches curiously as he looks at himself calmly for a second in the mirror and then bursts out into a song complete with an air guitar.

“How are you going to look like Green Day and sing Bon Jovi?” Kun rolls his eyes but he can’t help but be endeared at the big man. He needed a break and if ‘It’s My Life’ was going to make him feel better, Kun would indulge him and sing along.

Johnny bins the tube when he runs out trying to look like Elvis. “Now where did I put those leather pants?” he mutters as he walks past Kun. Ransacking his entire room is where his cleaning starts. Kun stays out of the way, but he’s watchful just in case. It’s a slow day.

He vacuums every surface while reciting dialogues from ‘ _Ahjussi_ ’ which runs in the background, drowned out by the sound of the machine. Kun enjoys this childlike Johnny, from his usual spot under the windchime. He drops the cleaner just to pretend that he’s a covert op agent for a while. He zooms around the house imitating Won Bin and in his biased adoration for Johnny, Kun fails to note how Johnny freezes in front of him.

He startles when Johnny lowers his hand and looks through him. Or was it _at_ him?

“What now?” Johnny walks closer, looking a little annoyed but Kun only stumbles backwards in shock. He wasn’t taught to how to respond in such a situation.

“ _What?_ ” he stutters instead and within a second Johnny walks right through him. Kun immediately spots their nosey neighbour by the open front door.

Oh. _Oh._ Kun’s heart almost beat out of his chest.

She looks at Johnny impassively, as bored as she always is.

“You got some sugar…” she blinks at his getup, “Clark Kent?” she holds up a tea cup.

“It’s Elvis” Johnny snatches it away with a tight smile. These neighbours were moving out; all their bags were packed. Or so they’ve been saying for two years now. He hates he has to be nice to them because his mother said so.

“Not with those glasses, you’re not”, the lady says but Johnny has left her there to find some sugar. He sends her away and shuts the door without waiting for a thank you.

“I should play Elvis loudly just to annoy you” he says to himself and Kun snorts.

Later, when Johnny works on his backyard, Kun bemoans the withering indoor plants. Johnny is a fool who only knows how to mow his lawn. He gets his groceries and takeout delivered and collapses on the carpet sleepily post-lunch, legs up on the sofa.

He comes across the crossword he had ripped off from the newspaper a few weeks ago. He gets adorably chatty when he’s sleepy and has called Kun every imaginable name just to get some of these answers. The only way Kun could help is lay beside Johnny on his back and keep him company.

Kun goes for the windchime when Johnny falls asleep with the newspaper on his face; something he has been avoiding for long to not give himself away more than he already has. It’s a busy workday tomorrow and Johnny won’t sleep tonight if he falls asleep now.

Kun thinks to go for the doorbell after Johnny doesn’t wake up even after hearing the windchime twice, but Johnny stirs.

“So, you won’t let me sleep” Johnny pulls the paper off him and sits up. “I’m up”

When Johnny forces himself up dumbed from sleep, Kun knows he’s going to hurt at least one of his gangly limbs in a minute. It’s not as he bets, on the elbow but instead Johnny stubs his toe on the coffee table and sends his mother’s vase flying off it.

The ‘mother’s vase’, as every family owns, does not break as Johnny had expected. He’ll never know his dear Dandan saved it (without meaning to), but the lack of noise is truly suspicious. He walks around the table and picks up the ceramic, not a chip in sight, and puts it back in its place carefully.

Would the vase be miraculously safe if it were to fall again? Johnny almost believes he did not make up his paranormal companion.

He watches the flimsy vase for a moment, curiously and Kun hates this strange tension in the air, as though something is about to happen.

“Dandan” Johnny calls gently. It makes Kun wonder what his real name would sound like if Johnny ever said it. “Tell me the truth”

Kun swallows.

Johnny seems so very serious. “Did Yuta burn my leather pants?”

_Huh?_

Johnny kicks the coffee table hard. His muffled curse completely goes over Kun as he sees the vase fly off yet again, forcefully, far out of his reach this time and land with a definitive crash. _Yup, that’s in pieces._

“Johnny, that was stupid” Kun sighs, rooted to the spot. Johnny’s groan of realization is very close behind him.

“ _Fuck,_ that was stupid”

x

Johnny and Jaehyun meet up for coffee in the café under Jaehyun’s workplace. Johnny was nearby for a survey and he comes by to take a break. Kun finds Ten there on the mezzanine floor brooding and annoyed. He is knocking his own head constantly with his blowgun and it looks like it hurts.

Doyoung appears suddenly beside them and leans over the railing on Kun’s other side.

“Surprise seeing you here. How did you find us?” Kun mumbles to Doyoung while still watching Ten with growing concern. Ten’s only acknowledgement of his arrival had been a brief nod. “and what’s up with him?”

“I knew he’d be here because he’s here every day” Doyoung shrugs. “Leave him be. Jaehyun is more stubborn than he expected” he leans close, “It has never taken him this long to finish an assignment” he whispers and snickers delightedly. But Ten hisses and shoves him away irritably.

Just then, Ten receives an order in fabric. The strip of cloth is charcoal black, something Kun had never seen before. Ten snatches it right out of the air and shreds it without even glancing at it, as if it is a daily occurrence.

Kun is baffled. “Aren’t you supposed to read those things?”

“It’s nothing of consequence” Ten dismisses Kun but Doyoung eyes him suspiciously. It hasn’t been _that_ long since Ten received the order to dart Jaehyun. Doyoung knows exactly what that black fabric is even though he’s never received one himself.

It’s a _warning_.

The ones that turn up when cupids and anti-cupids take longer than necessary to complete their work. Ten glares at him to keep his mouth shut. Doyoung decides very quickly that it’s not to his benefit to inflame an already pissed off cupid.

“So…Yuta called” Jaehyun begins.

Johnny startles, suddenly attentive. “ _Nakamoto?_ ”

“How many Yuta do you know?” Jaehyun narrows his eyes, “The one and only. Your best friend from high school”

Johnny mutters something about beating him up. “Where is he? What did he do now?”

Jaehyun laughs. It’s entertaining to see Johnny fed up. It’s not something that happens very frequently. “He’s back in town. He found out I was working on radio and reached out. He was asking for you. I gave him your number”

“See that’s what happens when you change your numbers and don’t remember passwords to your social media accounts” Johnny grouses childishly. Jaehyun thinks he just needs another coffee.

“Cut him some slack. Poor guy almost got arrested you know?” he grins because that sort of thing is superficially charming these days. _Going to jail for the right things_.

“I can’t believe I have to get updates of my friends’ lives from the newspaper. One day this climate activism is going to get him killed”

“C’mon Seo, this is exactly what you wanted to do when we were college!” Jaehyun teases accusatorily. “In fact, your drunk talk used to be exactly how you’ll became a champion of this climate revolution. Where’s your steam huh?”

“Whose team are you on anyway?” Johnny grumbles

“Yuta’s”

“Pay me back for your coffee” Johnny singsongs threateningly. But Jaehyun is cheeky and believes and laughing his way out of most situations. Johnny watches his laughter die out, steely eyed. “Tell me the truth. Were you in love with him?”

“Yup” Jaehyun doesn’t hesitate. Johnny gasps dramatically, as if betrayed for being kept in the dark by not one, but both of his closest friends. “Stop that. I was a child. He was the cool senior. It didn’t work out” he drinks from his cup. “Don’t change the topic. This isn’t about me”

Johnny’s comeback withers in his throat and he sits back. Kun is amused. Doyoung makes a passing comment about how he likes this Jaehyun boy.

“So what happened? You wanted to fight for the cause”

“I use my steel straws” Johnny mumbles from behind his cup. It makes Ten chuckle, at last.

“You know that’s not what I mean”

“It was far-fetched. And it’s impossible now”

“Yuta is doing it”

“Yuta is Yuta” Johnny is being unreasonable, Jaehyun knows that but it hasn’t ever stopped him from badgering Johnny about it.

“Listen. Not to shit on your current job but I think, people like to listen when you talk Johnny. And I mean properly listen. Don’t you think you can talk about these on radio? As a DJ?” there it is. 

Johnny doesn’t have an answer to that. He’s a tired salaryman. This is all very tempting, at the same time very unpredictable in where and how it’ll change his life. It’s the biggest gamble. Not everyone makes it. Jaehyun is charming. And not everyone is Jaehyun.

“Mr. Shin!” Jaehyun waves to someone behind him. It snaps Johnny out of his thoughts.

“Jaehyun. How have you been?” the man asks, even though they see each other every day. They exchange pleasantries and then suddenly the attention shifts to Johnny. “Who’s your handsome friend? Introduce me”

“ _This_ is Johnny Seo” Jaehyun grins at Johnny.

Mr. Shin makes a noise in wonder. Johnny’s confusion mounts every passing second.

“I'm surprised you know me by name” Johnny offers his hand, which the man takes enthusiastically.

“You’re his senior from college, aren’t you? The one he did radio with?” Mr. Shin is very amiable. All Johnny’s getting here is that Jaehyun talks about him at his workplace. A lot, judging by how the man actually seems to have put a face to a name he’s heard several times.

“Yes but—"

“He won’t stop bringing you up every opportunity he gets. He’s even rejected several co-presenters because there’s no synergy. _‘They’re not as good as Johnny’_ he says. I think our entire team knows you by name” Mr. Shin laughs good naturedly.

Johnny can do nothing but refute modestly and laugh. Mr. Shin seems like a big shot here at the company. Johnny decides to end Jaehyun later.

“Mr. Shin is our radio producer” _oh if this isn’t just lovely—_ Jaehyun is sneaky and he’s going to pay for it. The meeting ends quickly. Mr. Shin doesn’t hover around longer than necessary. He’s pleasant, but diplomatic and stern. No sudden offers are given and no promises made. Also, Jaehyun is expected upstairs in an hour.

“Why’d you go and do that?” Johnny complains.

“Do what? He’s been wanting to meet the famous Johnny Seo” Jaehyun leans in close, “And, he’s the one who sifts through all the new applications you know”. Clearly Jaehyun is insinuating that Johnny should apply. He’s latched onto this genius idea and he won’t let go till Johnny either tries here or his actual job environment gets better.

Johnny groans. Jaehyun is insufferable.

“You’re not as angry as I thought you’d be” Jaehyun quips.

“You’re paying for our drinks next time”

“Ah wait, wait— _hyung_ ”

Johnny sits back, packing up his stuff. He should get back to his interns before they accidentally offend someone on the streets.

“Yuta will be at NMCA on Friday if you want to drop by. He said he was thinking of calling after that” Jaehyun says.

“What’s he doing at the museum?” Johnny thinks for a second. “They do have this climate emergency theme going on now that I think about it”

“He’s officially one of the advisors to the curator and he’s part of the discussion panel this week” Jaehyun grins.

Johnny’s jaw drops in amazement. “I’ll drop by after work”. Hopefully Yuta is back for good.

When Kun turns to say goodbye, he finds Ten leaning over the railing on high alert. His watchful eyes fly between two people and he’s quick to dart them. The man and woman spot each other across the café and meet halfway, which is right where Johnny’s table is. It’s a reunion after 8 years, Ten explains, and it’s apparent in the way the friends are a mess of emotions. It’s involves blushes in the most juvenile sense, talking at the same time, giggling, stuttering and bumbling over their words. It’s so tooth rotting sweet, it makes the entire café root for them.

Jaehyun knows the male from the evening radio and fills Johnny in. It’s not every day that people express bursts of affection in public, whether they intend for everyone to see or not, but it makes Johnny’s mood considerably chipper.

“Makes me want someone to myself too” he smiles. Kun stiffens at the thought.

“I know exactly who I want but—” Jaehyun leans his head against the glass and looks over at the studio across the street. “Oh shit—”

“What?” Johnny looks outside.

“Don’t look! He’s coming over” Jaehyun buries his face into the table in an attempt to become one with it.

“You absolute wimp” Ten shakes his head in disdain. Meanwhile Johnny has the last laugh, revelling in his friend’s imminent and premature demise.

“Man, you’re embarrassing” he risks a jab, “is this how you approached Yuta?”

Doyoung disappears to get coffee. Kun zones out of the bickering that follows. Silence envelops him amidst the commotion, induced by nostalgia taking him back to the time he had come to Johnny. Still in university then, Johnny was tall and filling out those shoulders but full of energy with lots of love to give.

He had watched Johnny’s one good relationship then fall apart and since then Johnny hasn’t moved past casual hook-ups because they’ve never felt quite right. To hear Johnny being vocal about not having a partner, for the first time in years, is somehow unsettling.

The thought of Ten’s arrow flying through Johnny’s chest makes the hair on the back of his neck rise. He bristles uncomfortably till the question is tumbling past his lips.

“How come you haven’t darted Johnny yet?”

There’s a pause but Ten is quick to answer. “I’m simply waiting for a good match to show up”

“Don’t you get orders like Doyoung?” Kun asks, “I saw the black one. Are they supposed to be like that?”

“In the end it’s up to me. I’m the matchmaker, and matchmaking is serious business” Ten flicks his nose.

Kun swats his hand away and scrunches his nose. Ten hand settles around the locket on Kun’s neck. He rolls the little stardust-filled cylinder between his fingers. His eyes follow Taeyong, who had been making conversation right outside the café, as he finally enters and heads to greet his manager friend at the counter.

“If Jaehyun isn’t making a move on Taeyong soon, I’m letting Johnny take Taeyong away” It’s not louder than a whisper but it’s a sudden thought that spills out. Ten feels Kun still under him. 

Kun’s throat closes up as he looks down at Johnny laughing. Never once had he thought of _that_ possibility. That would be great for Johnny, but it makes Kun’s insides swirl unpleasantly.

“What happens to Jaehyun then?”

“At this point I don’t really care. Perhaps Doyoung will thrash him. That would be great to watch” It’s true that Ten is annoyed about not succeeding as smoothly as he thought. Jaehyun is so stubbornly resistant to his darts that it’s brought Ten to contemplate administering borderline lethal dosages. Which will surely get him into trouble. Which is why, Jaehyun is on thin fucking ice.

“So, you’re going to let Taeyong fall in love with his best friend?” Kun wonders. He doesn’t have to say that; it’s not his place to. But suddenly this is him being a little selfish about keeping Johnny to himself, for as long as he has him. “That’s cruel even for Doyoung”

Ten could chew off his lip. There’s a deep frown on his forehead, “Maybe. But Taeyong is totally Johnny’s type”

“What type is that?”

“Vaguely, small and cute”

Kun turns back to the friends, not quite ready to name the feelings bubbling within him. He can’t even tell if they are feelings tilting towards the happy or going to swallow him whole. Either way, he immediately files them off as unacceptable.

“You’re small and cute” Ten leans in. For a moment, those tired eyes are sparkling and suggestive. There’s a small haggling notion planted into Kun’s head just then. One which is dangerous and wholly ridiculous.

“Nice try Tenten”

“Do you like him?” Ten side eyes him this time.

“You know that’s not possible” Kun says “Don’t waste your time on something like that”

Ten’s answering hum is non-committal at best. Doyoung returns.

“What are you two talking about? I got coffee” one each for Ten and himself since Kun was about to leave anyway.

Kun and Ten take one look at his uncharacteristically buoyant manner and lean over the railing to check.

“Did you make the barista cry?” Ten asks him.

Doyoung shrugs, uncaring. “At least I paid for the coffee”, clearly a jab at Ten who uses compulsion to get his way.

Ten snatches away Doyoung’s coffee too. “It’s mine now”

Doyoung wants to argue but Kun warns him with a look. He really does look stretched thin.

“How many of you out working today?” he asks, because Ten looks like he hasn’t slept for 3 days.

Ten slurps noisily through his straw. “Eight. It’s a busy day” Eight clones out in the sector working to dart all sorts of creatures. It’s early spring and that means, the start of mating season.

Silence takes over from the plain look of bewilderment on their faces. Then Doyoung jumps to his feet.

“I’ll get you another coffee” and with that, he disappears.

Ten sends a dart flying at Taeyong, which sinks neatly into the back of his neck. Kun hears him mumble about being off by a few millimetres but the question that pops into his head immediately is: _did Ten make up his mind? Did he intend that for Jaehyun or Johnny?_ Anticipation had never been as daunting as in this very moment.

Taeyong turns around as if he felt someone watching him from behind. No one is, but he spots Jaehyun and immediately, their eyes meet. Between them there’s the smile of happy recognition and Taeyong approaches the table.

“Bless” Ten smiles, “we love a confident man”

“Surprise bumping into you here, Mr. Jung” Taeyong says and greets Johnny with a small smile.

“I work here” Jaehyun answers, but soon stumbles, “Not here, above here. In this building. I work the radio at night? Dreamcity?”

Johnny tries his best to hold back his laughter. Jaehyun in shambles is quite the sight to see. As is the object of his affection. Johnny recognises Taeyong as rising celebrity designer who has graced the pages of many, if not all, local magazines. He appears less intimidating up close, but the serene look of him and the air of confidence in his stature is what reduces Jaehyun to pieces. 

“Oh, you’re Jae-D?” Taeyong is starry eyed. He seems friendlier than projected. “I’m a huge fan” he gushes and is full of praise; so much that Jaehyun’s ears redden.

“Why don’t you join us?” Johnny makes the suggestion, since he was leaving anyway. Jaehyun kicks him under the table.

“I don’t want to intrude” Taeyong waves them away quickly, “especially not in your time with your fiancé”

Johnny howls with laughter, almost tearing up. Jaehyun rushes for damage control.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” he asks.

“Wait, isn’t that why you’ve been coming to my studio?”

“There’s only so many ridiculous excuses I can make for a chance to see you” Jaehyun wipes a hand across his face to hide his embarrassment.

“Then, if you don’t mind?” Taeyong’s face is similarly red. It’s taking a lot to appear like the respectable, twenty-six-year-old adult that he is, instead of a teenager with a tiny crush.

“He does not” Johnny picks up his bag and prepares to leave. “I’m Johnny Seo” he offers his hand which Taeyong takes sunnily. “and I was just on my way out. See you around Mr. Lee” he says, “Jaehyun enjoys company”

Johnny heads out, but not before stopping by the counter once again. Ten suspects it’s another cup of coffee but the pair in front of him have his attention mostly. Taeyong has slid into the seat beside Jaehyun but they sit awkwardly far apart.

“Can Jaehyun please do something for once?” Ten complains, as Kun readies to fly out after Johnny. “I’m 0.2 seconds away from revealing myself and roundhouse kicking him so he shifts one foot closer to Taeyong”

“That’s cheating”, Kun teases.

“I’m allowed! Oh god, why can’t I be Doyoung instead?” the tantrum is loud enough for Doyoung to return with another cup of coffee and two more he bagged for free. No one will know how.

Kun watches Johnny tenderly as he orders a big piece of blueberry cheesecake for Jaehyun’s table and pays for it before stealthily slipping out.

“We all want to be someone we’re not” Kun muses slowly, before flying off. For the first time, he wishes he was human.

x

On the following Friday, Johnny’s plan to surprise Yuta is unknowingly sabotaged by a phone call from another old friend.

Soojung is more a sister than anything. She was also his previous neighbour and his mother’s favourite person. He’s pretty sure his mother calls her up to hear all the gossip he doesn’t tell her. She’s also the only other person in this godforsaken city he would drop everything for, should she need help.

And right now, she is in desperate need of a babysitter.

“Where’s my baby?” Johnny asks as soon as he goes in. Soojung rolls her eyes when she hears an excitable bark upstairs and soon enough, her Labrador is bounding happily towards Johnny, crashing into his waiting arms. Johnny feels all his fatigue leave him at once.

“Daisy~” Johnny coos and the Labrador leaps at him. Johnny would carry the big dog like a baby in his arms if it wasn’t his back giving out from sitting at the desk all day.

“My _daughter_ , is upstairs” Soojung isn’t annoyed. She just knows Johnny too well. Kun is just here to check around as a precautionary measure. There’s no ongoing countdown, but you never really know with Johnny.

Johnny looks up at the sound of heavy footsteps, which couldn’t belong to a three-year old. It’s a woman and Johnny promptly chokes when he recognizes her.

“She fell asleep” the woman smiles at Soojung and nods at Johnny. “Hi?”

Soojung smacks his back when Johnny doesn’t respond within the second. “This is Johnny” she introduces them.

“Oh, the babysitter” the woman smiles amiably while Johnny waves awkwardly with the dog half over him. “Let me grab my stuff quick”

“oh god you’re on first name basis with Luna” Johnny looks at her accusatorily, as soon as Luna is out of earshot. That explains the dark car and the driver wearing shades (at this time of the night) outside the cat café Soojung runs next door.

“Stop that” she hisses. Johnny pauses and looks at her attire.

“ _you’re going on a date with a celebrity?_ ” Johnny whispers indignantly. He yelps when Soojung pinches his side, Luna’s reappearance in the room sparing him Soojung’s scathing reply.

“Call me if you need anything, I won’t be far” Soojung says. Johnny nods, but suddenly his eyes travel to a picture frame on top of the cabinet behind her.

She doesn’t have to turn around to know what’s suddenly made him so quiet. It’s a family photo with the ex-husband — a rather happy picture. She takes his wrist.

“is that new?” he asks quietly. It hasn’t been that long since he last stopped by at Soojung’s.

“I’ll fill you in later if you want” her grip is firm, and so is her voice. Johnny nods slowly. Kun sees him frown. Kun recognizes the man in the picture as well, but it has been years.

“They’re all nearby, and they’ve been asking for you” she says. “They all miss you”

Johnny’s tries to smile but it slides off his face quickly and he can look nowhere else but at his feet.

Soojung’s ex-husband and most of Johnny’s acquaintances in college, including his ex-boyfriend were a tight knit group of friends that doted on him not long ago. He never cared if it was by virtue of being Soojung’s ‘ _baby brother_ ’, someone’s boyfriend or if he was likeable enough on his own but this is a group of people he is just not ready to face yet.

“I thought so” Soojung squeezes his wrist before heading out the door, “I’ll be back soon”

“Take your time, really” Johnny manages to say, “We’ll be fine”. Daisy barks as if to agree.

Johnny looks weary after the goodbyes. He tries not to eye the several photos on the cabinet top and the wall behind it but finds himself drawn to them. There’s only that photo which bothers him, everything else is the child, the dog and the 24 cats from the café and adoption centre next door.

Kun takes his time in front of the family photo while Johnny goes up to check on the girl. He doesn’t hear the dog at Johnny’s heels and sure enough, when Kun turns around, Daisy is sitting there quietly, staring curiously at him.

“Oh dear” Kun slowly tries to pull back his wings, only for Daisy to tilt her head and let out a confused yelp. All he can hope is for her to not start barking and draw Johnny’s attention.

His hopes are soon crushed, but what did he expect really when he has wings on his back and a stick in his hand. Johnny is downstairs in no time, but the barking is thankfully alerting him of a new visitor. Johnny comes face to face with a girl. She greets Daisy first, who sniffs around her and retreats.

“Hi, I’m Yeji. I work at the café” Johnny nods and points at the nametag she hasn’t removed. “ _Oh_ ” she flushes in embarrassment. She had a very distinct features and recognizable face, even if Johnny didn’t remember her by name. “Boss told me to give you these” she says, and drops a set of keys in his hand.

“Okay. How do you get home? Shall I book a cab for you?” he asks.

“Oh, my boyfriend is here to pick me up” she points a little further down the lane, where a boy waves at him. It’s too dark to tell his face but Yeji thanks him and leaves hand in hand with the boy.

Johnny keeps watch till they disappear. The way his eyes travel between the cursed photo on the cabinet and the young couple walking away, it’s not difficult for Kun to guess that Johnny is having involuntary bouts of nostalgia. The hurt on his face is unmistakable, and yet the yearning for a happy, stable relationship surfaces with his sigh.

The minute warning on the hourglass goes off despite the night being clear of mishaps. Kun holds the door open to keep it from slamming into Johnny’s cute nose.

After locking up, Johnny’s head is a mess. Not from what Kun is assuming by observing him from the side, but because he let the young girl go with a boy whose face he hasn’t seen. Maybe he should’ve told her to text Soojung when she gets home. That’s a deal he and Soojung had between them till she got herself a boyfriend. Johnny side eyes the photo distrustfully. He knows men are up to no good.

Kun, ever the observant angel, so attuned to Johnny’s minor changes in mood, readies himself to disappoint Doyoung yet again.

Gently he knocks the photo frame and it goes down face first, no longer upright on the cabinet and visible to Johnny. But the loudest smack it makes; all of Kun’s experience had failed him in that instant to foresee that Johnny would look right at him. Or where he is; never mind the dog’s sudden bark of annoyance.

At this point Johnny’s is not even surprised by anything. He knows he wished so hard in the back of his head for that photo to not exist and now that it’s suddenly not in his line of sight, he just stares at the space for 5 long seconds and decides to let Soojung assume what she wants.

He feeds the dog, lets it follow him to the room upstairs till it falls asleep near the girl and makes his way down again. He brews himself coffee. Soojung doesn’t trust him with the gas, but Johnny knows his way around a coffee machine (and the microwave on weekends).

Kun sits beside Johnny on the sofa with his saved dog videos. Only the dog videos indicate any semblance of routine in Johnny’s day. They watch, (Kun satisfied with Johnny’s standard giggles) till Johnny yawns into the back of his hand.

Soojung makes him sleep over. He had no intention to carry himself home at all. He collapses in the guest room bed diagonally, otherwise a little too small for him. He falls asleep, a pillow pressed to his chest and his hand in Kun’s; blurry image of someone truly beautiful etched into the inside of his eyelids. That night he dreams of rosy lips and sharp brows but it all vanishes in the morning, just like a dream.

x

“You look like you robbed a Ralph Lauren store” Kun beams at Ten who just twirls around in the air happily like nothing could dampen his mood today. He flies close to Kun, crosses his arms and grins toothily. A smile Kun had sorely missed these past few months, no thanks to one difficult Jung Jaehyun.

“A cute employee gave it to me. With his own two hands” Ten chirps, shrugging because ‘ _cupid privilege_ ’. He had the big instruments out today. A longbow and strapped to his back, a quiver full of arrows. “Also, it’s Gucci darling”

Kun hums. “Gucci. For free. Yep, that’s a thing that happens”

“Never mind that. ‘tis the day I _finally stab—_ ”

“Uh huh” Kun dares him to complete that sentence, tongue in cheek.

“I mean! _Shoot._ But nicely” Ten laughs nervously, “nicely shoot Jung _mfuckin’—_ ” Ten is seconds away from vibrating out of his skin in excitement. He huffs when Kun raises an eyebrow at him. He had suffered because of Jaehyun; it was time to get rid of him.

Granting him a ‘forever’ wasn’t Ten’s idea of making the man suffer but Kun insisted that Ten himself deserved an award for putting up with this; which means he should wrap this case up _nicely._ That Jung Jaehyun is lucky Kun plays Guardian for people that aren’t his to take care of.

They're out in a public plaza where Jaehyun wants to make it official. It’s crowded out here today and all he has is a bouquet of flowers in one hand and Johnny in the other.

“Cheapskate” Ten comments loudly.

Jaehyun is slowly beginning to panic because Taeyong is running late. There’s an exhibition by students from Taeyong’s alma mater nearby and Taeyong was invited to chat with the graduating class. It’s not unlikely that he should be late.

Ten spots the designer from a few hundred feet away. Kun sits beside Johnny on a stone bench nearby and watches Ten nock an arrow into his longbow.

Taeyong struggles past a crowd going the opposite way but Ten grabs a heartstring as soon as he’s near enough, tying it to his arrow. Then it’s the moment their eyes meet through a sea of people. Ten’s arrow sinks neatly into Jaehyun’s chest with a satisfying thud. The men smile at each other, the crowd blurs around them and they just _know_ in that moment that they’re meant for each other.

Ten sighs happily when they meet in the middle.

Taeyong’s cheeks are flushed. Jaehyun forgets how to articulate any time Taeyong is within five feet of him.

“Are those for me?” Taeyong grins at the bouquet.

“Thought I’d get something for the guest of honour” Jaehyun bites his lip. It was after several unsaid ‘dates’, during the course of three months that they’d ended up at this point.

“Give me a _break—”_ Ten wants to snap his bow in two.

Thankfully, Johnny interjects, equally disappointed.

“Hi Johnny” Taeyong is happy to see him.

“Taeyong, Jaehyun has something to tell you” he smacks Jaehyun’s back hard enough for Jaehyun to stumble closer and looks at him pointedly. Jaehyun gulps. “Quickly. Coffee’s on me” he says and makes himself sparse. He can’t help but watch from a distance as his two friends profess their love for each other.

The actual confession itself drowns out in the crowd but when Jaehyun and Taeyong finally— _finally_ —acknowledge their feelings for each other, Johnny looks at them fondly, wistfully, wishful for a someone to reciprocate, give and receive all that he has to offer.

Kun wonders what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that look from Johnny. Suddenly he feels frustrated knowing that even if he stands in front of Johnny, Johnny would always look past him.

Someone bumps into Johnny and Kun is reminded that he’s not allowed to touch Johnny (not without his staff anyway), not to console him of his loss, not to pull him out of his fears and never like he would a lover. It brings forth more of that unpleasant churn in his belly knowing someone else can.

It feels ugly and acidic within.

As soon as he’s clear for the day, he flies back home and heads straight for the archive. He dips into the human section and everyone around him scatters as soon as they recognize him. Sometimes he doesn’t remember that he’s one of the elder ones around here and that they make an example of him. If only they knew.

He pulls out an encyclopaedia on human emotions and settles outside on an overhang where the clouds lick past his feet and the sun begins to sink under. He reads through carefully for a good while before discovering what it is that he’s been feeling for a while. It’s alarming to learn where his fear driven by inadequacy culminates, but it is the closest thing to what he _knows_ he feels and immediately decides to lock it away deep within him.

_‘envy’_

x

“You're not allowed to run out of it. Do you hear me?” Ten tries to convince Kun to let go for one day because at this point, he truly does need to save up on some ichor. ‘this point’ meaning four months from new year and Kun is pathetically short on fuel. On the final lap of these seven and a half years with Johnny, he’s consumed nine months’ worth of ichor in four.

Well if he didn’t want to _die_ , whatever _that_ meant for him _,_ essentially, he’d just have to wait it out and do nothing.

Historically, Guardians are most known to easily deviate. So, it’s easily acceptable to Kun, even though it’s unfair, that people in his line of work have an ever-present threat hanging over their head while his friends do not. They have their own taboos but Kun finds his fear of punishment greater that comes with responsibility of a human life.

He protects life, his friends are but wind that momentarily give them direction.

Kun is at his limit. He can’t help it. These changes blooming within him are foreign, unheard of. It’s like walls inside of him are breaking down and but the dust choking. It’s frustrating to not be able to name it.

It pushes Kun to be infinitely more aware of Johnny’s presence and it’s almost like a surge of power he’s never felt before. It’s funny because it keeps pushing him to do better by Johnny, never letting him be satisfied by his efforts to do his job, but it is the very same devotion that drains away the ichor in his orb.

Ten looks sick, feels sick.

Doyoung hasn’t looked at him properly in days.

“It’s fine”, Kun tries to sound chipper but falters at the look on their faces. “What’s the big deal anyway? I’ll just go poof!” he eyes Doyoung who looks back at him, jaw clenched. “There are plenty of Guardians out there. I’m sure they’ll send someone in to see Johnny through the rest of his bad time”

He’s not feeling suicidal. It’s just a thing that has never happened before. It’s not a thing that happens on the daily to his kind. When angels near the end of their life spans, all that’s left to do is become one with their master. And that’s not nearly as unpleasant as dying sounds. They are taught that it is freedom.

His only understanding of the instance comes from his time with the humans. He is not inherently aware of death amongst his kind. And what he doesn’t know, doesn’t scare him.

But it scares Ten and Doyoung because Kun talks like he’s expendable.

“I don’t have to listen to this” Doyoung is angry. He teleports away before Kun can explain himself or apologize.

“Never say that again” Ten fixes him with a hard glare.

After every seven and a half years assignment, there’s always some ichor left in the orb. There is a procedure to follow if the orb is drained faster. Some investigations follow during which the human is left without a Guardian. Kun knows this is an indefinite amount of time depending on the case.

The problem is, the help Kun is getting from Doyoung instead of following standard procedure, is illegal. But they were always short of time and Johnny being left alone was truly not an option. So submitting himself for questioning now will bring up his past records which will undoubtedly reveal his deal with Doyoung. He doesn’t want to put Doyoung in trouble.

There are a series of incidents lined up for Johnny today. Without much argument, Kun decides to let him be.

It starts with Johnny tripping on the threshold of his door on the way out and almost falling face first. Then an unapologetic stranger upturning his coffee order on him. Getting caught in the traffic jam in a bus full of annoyed passengers drains Johnny before he even steps foot into the company.

The printers run out of ink and malfunction just before a presentation and even with the best of their efforts, that afternoon, they lose a client to their rival company.

No matter how much he tries to remain optimistic and encourages the trainees, or gets pats of consolation from his peers and seniors, Johnny looks visibly bummed out.

Kun almost bites his lip bloody if not for Ten hovering around talking sense into him. It’s not like he could do much in the first place.

Kun almost doesn’t hear the dull ring of his hourglass when he follows Johnny into the conference room. They're welcomed by a stern looking man with a plastic smile on his face and within the minute they learn he’s a downsizing agent. Kun is shocked dumb while Johnny only nods with a tight smile of acceptance. Resignation sets into his posture and he is just done with this entire day. Johnny doesn’t even wait to hear all the reasons and procedures before leaving the room. It takes Kun a few seconds to realize and fly after him.

Johnny is one of the first few ones in the office to be let go. The silence followed by surprise and confusion around him is irritating like nails screeching across a blackboard. There’s an uproar around him when more of his own teammates come out of the conference room looking baffled. He does not for the life of him want to wait around to find out why.

Kun walks ahead of him worriedly. There’s no warning, no countdowns but Kun can’t help but feel Johnny might walk into oncoming traffic knowing how out of it he is. Johnny stops by his local coffee shop but outside, he takes one look at his stained shirt and decides its ice cream he wants today.

He sits on a bench in front of a kickboxing studio on the way home, biting into his strawberry ice cream. There are some young girls, fiery in their practice of the roundhouse kick and if he looks long enough, he can see the Director’s face on the punching bag.

Kun knows this outwardly calm will only last up to the front door. He’s proven right when Johnny doesn’t bother to remove his shoes as he enters, miraculously avoids the windchime and goes face first into the couch. He stares off to the side for two whole minutes and forgets to remove his glasses before falling asleep right there.

“I fucked up Ten, I fucked up” Kun remembers what Doyoung had said back in the office many months ago.

“No, you did good” _you’re okay._ “Would you rather disappear and leave Johnny miserable or would you do nothing but be present and allow yourself to silently watch as he overcomes this?”

Kun pushes back his hair and takes a deep breath before settling down beside the couch on the carpet. He has nothing to say.

“He’ll live, and so will you” Ten crouches in front of him. “You can save him from a falling flowerpot but even _you,_ and I mean the best of us all, can’t spot a papercut coming” he says gently. “Do you think you can tell what other people are thinking?”

Kun can’t help but feel like a disappointment. How could he let so much happen on his watch?

 _It’s not like you could tape that agent’s mouth,_ Doyoung’s voice is in his head again. It makes him feel ashamed to face all these should-haves all of a sudden.

“I wish he wasn’t so affected by other people’s actions” Kun mumbles, but that’s just how the world works. Sometimes he hates that there are things that happen that are outside of his control.

“He’ll be over it soon enough” Ten brushes away the hair falling over Kun’s eyes.

Ten is right. Kun would sit tight. _This is the worst that could happen,_ he thinks.

Johnny grumbles restlessly behind him and shuffles around. Ten takes his leave and Kun his left alone with his human and his regrets.

Johnny blinks blearily. He can feel a headache coming on, it’s only four in the afternoon and it is sticky hot. He’d rather not let his mind wander but the constant silence of the house just makes him feel incredibly lonely.

He can almost hear his mother call out to him sweetly, his father’s constant grumbles and teenager Mark’s awkward and gangly with his adorable giggles. He and Yuta used to run around this hall passing around Jaehyun’s pants while he could do nothing but squeak indignantly and turn red all over. And then, this couch was also the one he and his boyfriend occupied to watch late night movies when his parents were out.

 _Ex-boyfriend,_ Johnny thinks bitterly.

Is that it? _Am I jinxed?_ , he thinks. Everyone around him just leaves. His family, his friends and now his office, which has dismissed him without much explanation. He has two weeks to pack up, but he’s not really expected to show up.

“Dandan” Johnny’s lip trembles. Kun decides immediately to give Johnny an answering sign. “will you leave me too? Like they did?”

Kun freezes in place. Johnny’s face crumples but he just laughs dryly and tells himself to stop being silly and not look for things that weren’t there. His eyelids flutter shut and fatigue slowly drags him under.

“Never”, Kun whispers tenderly.

Johnny’s eyes snap open. Surely, he imagined that. He forces his eyes shut before the tears brimming in it spill over.

Kun watches Johnny go lax with sleep. Before he leaves, he pulls away Johnny’s glasses, smooths out the frown between his brows and blows a pinch of stardust from his locket at Johnny so that his sleep is undisturbed and his dreams are pleasant.

It’s almost nine when Johnny is woken up by a phone call. It’s Mr. Chae, his senior at work. His voice cracks immediately when he answers the phone.

“Johnny. I don’t know if you’ve heard but our entire team was laid off today” Mr. Chae informs him. Johnny fully awake now. “with the exception of boss of course. Hyunwoo was offered another position”

“Sir, I don’t understand. Among both marketing teams, we’ve always had better results—”

“It’s because the Director’s son is in the other team” Johnny hears his senior sigh.

“Oh” _of course,_ it’s not that he was incapable, just unlucky. He was up for a promotion soon and this is unfair but he has no fight left in him.

“Hyunwoo resigned as well” Johnny’s yelp of shock is overrun by laughter on the other end. “said he’d had enough” Mr. Chae explains what happened in the office after Johnny left.

“Anyway, the reason I called you in the first place was that boss is starting his own consulting company. He’s invited all of us to join” he chuckles when Johnny gasps. “yeah kid, that includes you. We all said yes. We got to talking and if things go well, we’ll be up and running in two weeks”

“Oh” that’s all Johnny can seem to say in this entire conversation.

“No pressure but boss really likes you, even if he doesn’t show it all that much. You don’t have to say yes but he said that there will always be a place here for you okay?”

Johnny nods, “I mean! Thank you, sir. I’ll think about it”

“Haven’t I told you stop calling me sir already? Sir this sir that” he teases. “we’re all out together for some chicken and beer. Come over. Same place we always celebrate”

“I, _uh—_ ” Johnny’s voice cracks again.

“You know what” Mr. Chae has always been quick to pick up on things, thanks to the proximity of their workstations in the office. “why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll make up an excuse for you”

“I’ll make it up to you next time” Johnny promises.

“Don’t let the boys hear you say that. they’ll make you pay for dinner next time” his senior mumbles and Johnny laughs. Just like that the call ends and Johnny feels marginally better than he did when he went to sleep.

He only manages to switch on the lights at home and change his pants before his phone rings again. Unknown number. He isn’t expecting a call but he has nothing better to do.

“ _Johnny?_ ” the voice asks first thing and Johnny’s eyes widen at the screen. Well he’ll be damned.

Johnny shifts to speaker and pulls off his tie and shirt. “Punk, you’ve been here three months and you couldn’t call once?”

“It got busy! I’m sorry” Yuta’s laughter is so familiar and warm. “you have dinner yet? Get ready, I’ll pick you up”. And just like that they fall back into beat.

Johnny stills. His body aches in places. “it’s not a good day”

“I know” he can hear Yuta rummaging around for his keys and stumbling over his shoes. He’s always been loud on a phone call. “I’ll come over with some takeout and beer”

“Wait what do you mean you _know_?” Johnny is late to catch onto that but his suspicions are confirmed when Yuta goes silent for a second.

“I called your office” he says slowly. Johnny curses. “in my defence! It was Jaehyun who gave me your office number. Anyway! They said your team was dissolved from today onwards and I talked someone into giving me your actual number”

“ _Yuta_ ”

“I’m already on my way, don’t even bother”

“Listen—”

“I know you don’t like being alone. I promise I won’t speak if you don’t want to talk. We can just eat junk and watch Coco”

“That’s nice. But I'm really tired and I think I’ll just sleep” Johnny pulls his whale plushie towards himself.

Yuta concedes, eventually. “I won’t come over but at least eat something”

“I’ll try” he really wasn’t in the mood. Yuta sighs. It was like high school all over again.

“Did you tell Jaehyun?”

Johnny sits up. “don’t tell him. I’ll call him in the morning”. He’s likely already on standby for radio and he lives on the other side of the city.

“Okay. I’m free tomorrow and day after. Call me if you need an out. Otherwise I’ll be on your doorstep and you’ll need the doorbell replaced _again_ ” Johnny chuckles at the memory it brings up while Yuta threatens him.

Despite Yuta’s best efforts, Johnny doesn’t bother heading down to the kitchen to make himself anything. He gulps when his phone rings two minutes later, as if the caller divined what he was thinking. It was Soojung. And hers is always a pick-up-or-else call.

“Come over for dinner” she doesn’t even say hi _and_ she’s using her elder sibling voice.

“But—”

“No buts. Get your ass here in 30 or I’m sending over a cab” or several cabs till he gets there. That’s how long the call lasts and Johnny is pretty sure by the time he’s pulled on decent outfit that it was Yuta who tipped her off.

“Uncle Johnny!” he hears distantly even before he steps into the house. He can hear shuffling even as he gets pulled bodily into the house by Soojung.

“She isn’t asleep yet?” he asks her first and Soojung shrugs.

“Uncle Johnny! Look! _Look!_ ” Johnny kneels immediately to meet her excitement.

“ _Eunnie!_ ” Johnny coos at her and then gasps. “Who is this?” his eyes fall on the Dobermann pup in her small arms. Daisy comes around and lets him pat her head.

“Someone left him on our doorstep last night” Soojung offers as an explanation. “We took him to the vet and already found him a home” Johnny nods along.

“His name is Diesel” the child says. “do you want to hold him?”

“Yes please” he grins and the pup is truly so small that Johnny can’t help but crumble. “Oh no, oh no hi little fella” he coos, holding him like a baby, afraid he would slip from his arms. “Eunnie he’s so cute” Johnny mumbles and flicks her nose. “Just like you”

The giggle that follows makes him really happy. Daisy hovers around like a worried mother.

Soon after, he feels a hand caressing his hair. Soojung then pulls him close to her abdomen, sighing. It’s exactly as Johnny dreaded.

“You’ll be fine” she says. Johnny feels the tears prickling in his eyes, his throat closes up. _Ah shit._ This is what he wanted to avoid.

“Don’t do that” he chokes out, when he feels her hand caress his hair again. Her daughter crouches in front of him and looks at him worriedly.

“Uncle Johnny, don’t cry” she says, and just like her mother she pats his head, assuming it helps.

Johnny’s lip wobbles dangerously even as he tries to smile. It was a really bad day. He’s lonely now and then for sure but he’s reminded that there are people who care deeply about him. He holds them all close while Daisy whines from the side trying to find her own space among the bodies but Johnny bursts into tears.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all ever just have those days?


	3. Chapter 3

-

For the eighth time in a row, Kun finds himself in front of Doyoung. He feels defeated. His chest tightens at the thought of forgetting the sense of contentment, or how fulfilling it feels after a job well done. The knowledge that they’re caused by Johnny, all of which must now disappear and make him unfeeling once again, has his insides throbbing with dread.

And yet, he must. If he is to protect Johnny for the remaining five months, he has to make up his mind. Perhaps it’s for the best because he will be re-assigned in five months and never see Johnny again anyway. There is no use holding on to the surge of foreign emotion he’s now familiar with. Everything hurts, but he wants to see Johnny through to the end. So he turns to Doyoung anyway, placing his hands into Doyoung’s waiting, outstretched ones.

Doyoung kisses him slow and sweet. When Kun pulls away, it’s with a frown. He rests his forehead on Doyoung’s chin and expects to feel a little dizzy. But it doesn’t come.

“It didn’t work” Ten nods at the staff that was left against the tree trunk and looks at them in confusion.

“Not long enough” Doyoung cups Kun’s face and pulls him back in, licking into his mouth and taking, _taking_ like only _he_ knows how to. There’s no reason it shouldn’t work.

“Enough!” Ten rarely raises his voice but it makes both Doyoung and Kun turn to the orb. Nothing has changed. “It’s not working” Ten says quietly.

“So, seven times is the limit” Kun observes and turns to look up at Doyoung. He smiles bleakly and Doyoung doesn’t like it one bit. So he leans close again, puts both of Kun’s arms around his shoulder and pulls him impossibly close.

Ten does not protest. If that’s what it took for Doyoung had to understand himself. It takes a few more kisses and bewildered glances at the staff for Doyoung to choke up and realize that they had reached the point of no return.

He rests his forehead against Kun’s and whispers an apology before taking a step back. Feeling unnerved, he nods tightly and disappears into a cloud of ash.

Kun sinks to the ground, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He was in serious trouble. Especially with a major incident lined up for Johnny later tonight.

“I’m going to really have to confiscate your staff now” Ten sits beside him cross-legged.

Kun chuckles. “If you can touch it”

“Damn”

“Is Doyoung going to be alright?”

“Worry about yourself. He’s just more afraid of losing you than you’re afraid of losing you right now”

“I don’t know why but I’m not scared” Kun admits. Rather it bothers him how he might be able to do nothing for the impending incident.

“If you die, I won’t forgive you. Knowing Doyoung, he’s already back in the Archives looking for a way” Ten says as he puts his head on Kun’s lap. “I just need you to stay put”

Kun hums distractedly. Johnny is miserable and Kun feels distressed not having eyes on him. “What’s the point? If I let Johnny get into an accident, I might get called for an investigation and when they find out why, I might get banished” Kun mutters to himself. “What happened to everyone else who was banished?”

“I don’t know” Ten tries to remember. “It’s like they’re stripped of everything and their very existence is unmade”

Kun winces. That sounds painful. “I can’t decide if being unmade or disappearing is the better way to go”. Ten smacks him everywhere he can reach.

“Stop that!” Kun holds both his hands down.

Ten is upset. His eyes are glassy with tears but he folds his arms across his chest grumpily and wills them away. This is new to Kun, because Ten has been a lot of emotions—just never this one, and he immediately decides it is wholly unacceptable.

It’s unlike Kun to want to break laws on purpose but the thought of never being able to see his friends again is enough to make him want to at try every option there is. Even if the end is non-negotiable.

“There should be someone who has slipped through the law” he tries. They’ve never had time to sit and think about these things. They had always settled for the most convenient and closest option available. Now it isn’t. “Don’t you cupids love to party and gossip every other full moon night? Tell me something you’ve heard that’s completely wild but could be true”

Ten denies such a thing at first but falls into deep thought. He’s heard of petty thieves among them with a taste for golden chalices, another angel who accidentally set fire to their Communication Ministry’s garden but hardly anything related to what they needed now.

“There’s a rumour” He frowns when he remembers. “No one has escaped the law but there’s a rumour that someone managed to walk away with a deal”

“When I said wild, I didn’t mean impossible and absurd” Kun snorts in disbelief.

But he is loath to crush the small twinkle of hope in Ten’s eyes. Ten bites his lip, “it’s better than nothing”

If this is it, they may have all the answers they need. Kun isn’t completely against it.

“Who is this?” but surely it can’t be _that_ simple?

“A Peacekeeper” The highest order of angels. Kun already doesn’t like where this is going.

“He was banished to live out the rest of his life among the humans. An indefinite exile of sorts” Ten explains. “Rumour has it that he’s on an island somewhere off west coast” he sits up abruptly.

Kun looks back at the house. He doesn’t have the heart to leave Johnny alone. The only real assurance he has is that a friend is supposed to drop by sometime soon and if Kun is late, he knows they have plans to hit that club Johnny frequents.

“We’ll be back with enough time to spare, I swear” Ten’s says. He pulls out his order slips from one of his deep pockets and pinches their ends like arrowheads. He whispers to them and then let’s them glide through the air in all directions.

“Come” he calls. Kun takes his hand. “Doyoung will find us there”

x

“Are we in the right place?” Kun looks around in confusion. He had expected the angel in question to be living in the middle of a busy island town, perhaps disguised as a human, worn down by his banal mundane job much like Johnny’s but Ten has led him to a rather desolate piece of land. They’ve flown over a forest along the coast and across unforgiving waters to a small island this humid evening.

The island looks very much devoid of human occupation. Kun looks at Ten suspiciously. When they land on the banks, Ten cranes his neck to survey the area and then calls Kun to sit beside him near the first line of windbreaker trees.

“We are. Can you feel it?” Ten turns back to look at the thicket of trees that seem to go on endlessly. Kun feels a faint pulse of energy resonate with his heartbeat and he understands that it emanates from somewhere deep within the forest. It’s a strange place that feels like broken part of his own home world tethered to the mortal plane.

Kun sighs. “I was ninety-nine percent sure you were going to hack my wings off and leave me here to live out the rest of my assigned days”

Ten looks amused. “That’s actually not a bad idea” he leaps at Kun and pushes him onto his back. Kun goes down weakly and Ten hovers above him sizing him up with a playful smirk. “I can’t hypnotize you with my music or tranquilize you with my darts, but if you want your wings broken or ripped off, that can be arranged” he smiles against Kun’s ear.

“As much as the thought seems inviting, let’s not do that” Kun taps Ten’s back which makes him pull away to look at Kun curiously. Kun can’t decide if being unmade would be more painful or getting his wings ripped away. Did the Peacekeeper have wings? Briefly he wonders if not having wings would make him human.

In a crazy, hypothetical situation he had considered himself in the mundane, if only for Johnny to be a part of his life. For Johnny to know him.

“You’re no fun” Ten complains. “What would Johnny say?”

“Nothing because he doesn’t know me” _He doesn’t know I exist and he doesn’t know I’m one mistake away from disappearing._ Kun looks disheartened. Ten smoothens out the frown on his forehead. It bothers him that Kun is so resigned to his supposed fate.

“Keep saying sad things like that and I’m going to have to kiss you to make you feel better” Ten grimaces as soon as the words leave him. Kun considers for a second. Magical kiss or not, he shudders at the image.

“Let’s not do that, also” Kun makes a noise of disgust.

“I’m glad we agree” Ten slides Kun’s hands away from tapping his thigh. “And no, I’m not getting off till Doyoung arrives because you’ll want to fly back to Johnny”

“I’m already here dwarf” Doyoung smacks Ten’s head from behind. “You just want an excuse to kiss Kun”

Ten lobs the first pebble he finds at Doyoung. “How much did you hear?”

“Pretty much everything” Doyoung shrugs and turns away. He’s too stubborn to look Kun in the eye. Ten helps Kun off the ground.

“Why do you get to be the only one who kisses him?” Ten complains petulantly as he follows after Doyoung into the forest, to which Doyoung mutters something about ‘circumstances’ and Kun sees the tips of his ears turn red.

“Stop” he calls. “What’s the plan? I feel uncomfortable not knowing who we’re meeting”

Ten turns to him. Doyoung doesn’t.

“His name is Moon Taeil” Doyoung says, pushing his hair back and resting both of his hands on his waist. “He was one of the inner circle and a gifted warrior. It is said that though he did not like to fight, his natural talent was far too great to be ignored. There are scarce and questionable accounts that mention that he chose to bow out of his job after his close companion angel was killed on the battlefield”

 _Except there_ is _no bowing out of our jobs._ Their kind are born specifically to serve one purpose for the rest of their lives.

“He was far too important to be let go, but too powerful to be at the receiving end of a blatant refusal. So he was offered another job, the details of which are not publicly record, and he’s been living here in solitude since long before any of us were born” Doyoung explains.

Ten takes Kun’s wrist gently, “He’s still one of us and he may be able to help”

“What makes you think he will?”

“We have to try” Ten says.

“He used to be a weapons expert” Doyoung mumbles, running his fingers over his blades.

“I’ll ask him to have a look at my blowgun” Ten follows. “That should get the conversation started and then, we can ease him into our main problem. He’s been alone for centuries. I bet he loves occasional guests”

“That’s going to take more time than I have” Kun swallows hard, the rate at which the hourglass is losing sand imprinted to the back of his eyelids. “More time than I can waste” He needs to get back to Johnny too. He’s anxious enough as it is being this far away and not knowing what is going to happen to him yet, and now that they may possibly not be able to keep to their decided time, he’s starting to panic.

Ten puts a firm hand on his shoulder and snaps him out of it. “Well then, why don’t you lead the way?” he nods towards the trail leading into the forest. The canopy is too dense to be able to fly and they may not have space to land. Additionally, they’d have to carry Doyoung.

Besides, it would be disrespectful to enter a Peacekeeper’s house from his roof.

Kun swallows hard, looking at the deceptive looking trail but he puts one foot in front of the other and forces himself forward. “Let’s go” he says as he walks past Doyoung towards the source beckoning them all.

A mile and a half in, Doyoung pauses to let Ten walk beside him. He pulls out the strip of fabric from his breast pocket and shakes it open. It is black, very similar to the one Doyoung had spotted in Ten’s hand several months ago.

He looks at Ten pointedly, waving the fabric in his hand. “Really?” he asks.

“What?” Ten shoves him away. Kun is a good twenty feet ahead to make sense of their conversation. He hasn’t turned around more than thrice to make sure he’s being followed since they started walking. All he wants is to reach the end of this trail.

“It was an emergency” Ten hisses when he stumbles over an exposed tree root. Doyoung is quick to grab his arm and pull him upright.

“I’m talking about this!” Doyoung brings the paper close to Ten’s face. Ten squints at it and soon enough realises the name on the warning slip.

“You’ve been putting off this assignment for two years!” Doyoung very nearly yells at him. Not once in his life has Doyoung failed to complete an assignment on time. Ten’s habit of not following orders to the tee has ticked him off several times, sure. But the way Ten has stubbornly disregarded this particular order had never shown through his demeanour. This is unusually illusive.

Doyoung is appalled at the lack of enthusiasm for the poor abandoned human even if he takes pride in snapping heartstrings Ten so painstakingly melds together. There should be relationships for him to do so but if Ten won’t do his goddamn job then what’s the point anyway.

“We’re doing this first thing after we solve Kun’s problem” he declares.

Ten hisses in displeasure. “We? Why do you care?”

“You’re going to get sent all the way back to the training academy, you ingrate”

“So you’ll miss me” Ten shoots back, lips curling when he tries to control his bubbling laughter. “That’s cute”

“Nice try” Doyoung talks exasperatedly through his teeth. “Do you want to tell me why you haven’t darted Johnny yet?”

Ten levels him with a glare and brings up his hand to snap his finger, ready to watch the paper shred itself. But Kun turns around just as he does, as if he’d heard Johnny’s name. Ten and Doyoung stop short, stiffening as Kun examines them with a curious tilt of his head.

The paper is balled up in Doyoung’s hand, out of sight just in time.

“I can see something up ahead” Kun nods his head towards a clearing. “I don’t think this is it”

Ten and Doyoung share a look. “We are not talking about this again” Ten tells him as soon as Kun turns away.

“This is serious—”

“Not up for discussion” Ten dismisses him and walks past him to crouch down beside Kun. Doyoung shoves the paper in his pocket before joining them.

An odd sight greets them. Some fifty-odd statues littered across the front yard of what looks like a dilapidated mansion. Constructed centuries ago, abandoned a few decades back and falling apart still. It’s a wonder it’s still standing. Several statues, mostly in stone, seem to have weathered over time, some lie with limbs broken. There are hardly any that seem whole. Most them are in the image of man.

“Anyone ever mention ‘sculptor’ in their texts?” Kun turns to Doyoung. Doyoung hadn’t come across any such thing.

“Perhaps the island is not as uninhabited as we thought” Ten mumbles.

Kun jumps up and walks right down the trail towards the mansion. His friends stumble behind him bewildered.

“If they’re human, they can’t see us” Kun doesn’t stop walking. “Stop hiding like criminals and let’s get this over with”

Less than ten minutes later, they find themselves standing in a courtyard, drowsy from the pressure weighing on them from the very source that beckoned them. They find themselves in front of a boy, who welcomes them with a pleasant smile.

“Master Moon fell asleep waiting for you” he gestures behind himself towards an armchair turned away from them.

It’s more than strange when what presses down on them, the boy seems unaffected by. The ridiculous number of sculptures lined up around them doesn’t hold their attention long enough because what’s more surprising is that the boy can see them. He’s _human._

And they haven’t met the Peacekeeper yet.

All eyes zero in on the back of the armchair. The only thing that gives away that it’s occupied, apart from the heavy energy that radiates from it, is the arm hanging off the side. A sledgehammer in the Peacekeeper’s weak grip and the absolute scene of wreckage in front of them was very telling. A colossal sculpture had just been turned to dust. The boy looks apologetic.

“He was exhausted” he feels the need to explain judging by the look of dread on their faces. Even Ten who would usually try to break the tension is quiet. Kun has questions, but as soon as he wills himself to speak, the boy turns away. In one graceful motion, he is on his knees beside his master’s hand. Gently he pries the tool away and whispers the news of their arrival.

“Jungwoo” they hear the man awaken. His hand runs down Jungwoo’s head and caresses the base of his neck. Jungwoo’s robe slips down a little and there’s a smattering of bites across his pale skin. For a second the grip on his neck is firm and then his master rises.

The first thing Kun notices about the man is his red hair. As he flexes his neck, Kun finds that Peacekeeper Moon is shorter than he’d expected and that he’s a little underdressed to entertain guests, looking at the smooth expanse of his back. There are scars on his back where wings should have been.

His form is menacing even from the back. Kun can hear his friends gulp. Then, when a pair of sharp green eyes land on him, he feels a lump lodge in his throat. He swallows harshly as the angel glides around the armchair to stand in front of them. Splotches of plaster and marble dust dot his front down to his pants but it doesn’t make him look any less intimidating or beautiful. _God, he is beautiful._

Kun belatedly realises that Doyoung is partly in front of him and Ten has a hand on his shirt, grip tight on the back, as if ready to pull him as far away as possible on a moment’s notice.

It’s not that he cannot fend for himself. It’s just that Taeil seems frightening and dangerous. He hasn’t taken his eyes off Kun since they landed on him several long seconds ago.

“What an odd trio of angels” he observes. “Out of my way” he tells Doyoung, who shifts meekly.

Taeil comes to a halt in front of Kun. He examines Kun for a moment and the fatherly smile that follows is rather disconcerting. Kun returns one with a wince. He isn’t sure what to make of the twinkle of amusement in the Elder’s eyes. At this point he’s afraid to ask.

“Ten, Kun and Doyoung” Taeil gets a proper look at all of them. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” there’s a minor glee he allows himself only for the bewildered look on their faces.

Ten leaps into action. “Elder. My blowgun. I was hoping you could recalibrate it”

“Very well” Taeil takes the weapon from him. “My apprentice will keep you company while I get dressed”

They turn to each other as soon as Taeil exits the courtyard. The pressure lifts away as they huddle close, unsure of what to do now that they are similarly suspicious of Taeil and this place.

“Can’t say I like the look of this place very much” Doyoung mutters under his breath. His eyes flit around as if to memorise the surrounding structure.

“How long before he brings back your weapon because I would very much like to fly home as soon as possible” Kun admits.

Ten tries to placate them but the human interrupts. They’d completely forgotten he was there and not only could he see them; he could hear them as well. They should really be careful about what they say around him.

“Would you like some tea?” Jungwoo asks. His smile is gentle and friendly. Maybe they shouldn’t be as wary of the boy as they are. _He’s just trying to be a good host_ , Kun reasons.

“Yes please” Kun smiles. Jungwoo lights up, happy for the opportunity.

“I’m parched” Ten’s smile is charming. It’s the one he uses on his ‘assignments’. “I would love some” he says, because he understands what Kun is trying to do. And they will be left alone which is what they need right now.

Doyoung’s frown is much too apparent. Kun elbows him in the ribs. “Me too” Doyoung nods stiffly.

Jungwoo is more than happy. “We don’t get a lot of guests around here. So I’m going to make you my best herb tea!” he walks backwards, grinning ear to ear. “Please, consider this your home” he skips away, leaving them in the courtyard with nothing but sculptures.

“if he brings back some green, murky looking thing, I’m not drinking that. As much as we want answers today, I would rather offend Elder Moon before I—”

“Always knew you were a wimp” Ten snickers.

“well excuse me for having very specific tastes” Doyoung mutters through grit teeth.

Kun turns away to look at his hourglass. He pulls out several, quickly conjuring scenarios of how long it’ll take them here at best, as Ten and Doyoung bicker in the background. At worst, they don’t get out of here today. Each scenario makes him more nervous than the last.

“Hey” Ten pulls him out of his thoughts with a firm grip on his shoulder. Kun hadn’t seen him approach. “We’re going to be fine”

Trust Ten to know exactly what to say, but Kun believes in data and things aren’t looking so good for him. He needs to get to Johnny. “I don’t know Ten. What if it’s all just a huge ploy to trap us here and use us in exchange for freedom?”

“That’s ridiculous. Elder Moon may look scary but he doesn’t seem unreasonable” Ten says and gestures for Doyoung to say something as well. “Besides, we still have a good two hours to get home. The time hasn’t changed. That’s usually a good sign, right? I bet Johnny is still in bed”

“Put that away” Doyoung is still stubborn and refuses to look at Kun. Kun slides away the hourglasses into one which then pops back to the orb. Just the look of it makes them feel miserable. The silence is suffocating thanks to the beggarly drops left in it. Kun puts away his staff.

“I’ll just teleport us all home” Doyoung mumbles “to Johnny” he says and moves away.

Kun sighs. Ten puts his hands on either side of Kun’s shoulder and turns him around. Kun comes face to face with a statue.

“You can’t come here and not appreciate the artwork” he whispers and leaves him to admire the life-sized sculptures.

It had been difficult to not notice them when they had walked in. They were everywhere. Most were as tall as him, if not taller. Angels. In all shapes and sizes, ages and expressions. And heavily, incredibly detailed. Several millennia in exile had surely made Elder Moon’s talents flourish. 

Most statues were fixed on wooden bases, and hammered to the base were metal panels with names and dates hand-carved in.

_Minghao, December 2008_

A _Guardian_ , judging from the wide wing span. This one is on a pedestal because the angel is on his knees. Kun comes face to face with an expression of defeat. It’s like if it weren’t in marble, Minghao would blink back at him, stretch out like Ten does when he feels stiff and climb down to have a conversation with Kun about his misery. Maybe some tea.

Jungwoo hasn’t been gone long. The tea will have to wait.

Kun watches Doyoung scrutinize another statue a row away. Ten seems rather distracted by a pair a squirrel; He coos at them as Kun moves onto the next statue. Another Guardian; after a quick glance around himself, he understands that so are all of the others.

He walks past a Seokjin, Jihyo, Yerim and Hyungwon spanning across the decade, unable to shake off the sense of familiarity and the sudden sympathy that he feels for those of his race. Then there is a more recent one.

_Jinyoung, January 2019_.

He’s so struck by it. The sheer beauty and intricacy, that he finds himself frozen in front of it. He realises it’s because how different the expression is of this one. The ones he’d walked past were petrified, distressed, surprised, repulsed but this one; this one was almost reverent. A little in love; almost _human._

Kun stares in awe.

Jungwoo comes out with a long tray and three teacups. Doyoung picks one first and considers it for half a second as Jungwoo moves past to Ten. The hot tea looks harmless, transparent save for a tinge of pink. There’s a leaf at the bottom of the ceramic. Doyoung doesn’t recognise it and smells the tea suspiciously, turning away to avoid Jungwoo’s sideways glance.

Ten finds his flute on the tray.

“Master should be out shortly. Why don’t you give it a go?”

Ten whips it into the blowgun, brings it up to his mouth and aims for a sparrow perched on the railing of the first floor. The wear of his weapon is familiar but the dart flies out butter smooth and reaches exactly where Ten had intended it to.

“This is brilliant”

“Master will be pleased to hear”

Ten takes his cup and raises it in thanks. Jungwoo nods back with a small smile and comes to stand beside Kun. Kun takes the cup gratefully.

“I’ve never seen anything quite so elegant and captivating. What a waste to hide it” he tells Jungwoo.

“Believe me when I say this, these are not the best of our collection” Jungwoo chuckles. 

Kun turns to him, baffled. “Then why are they out in your courtyard for everyone to see?”

“So they may meet their end” Jungwoo turns to look at the chunks of marble strewn across the courtyard from the last sculpture that was obliterated. Kun remembers the Elder with a sledgehammer and gulps audibly.

“The wings go first” the apprentice whispers, “hacked off clean; then the arms because otherwise they could fight back you know?” his laughter is brittle and his eyes distant. “After that, the head is knocked off neatly” Jungwoo taps the pulse point on his own neck. “Master likes the faces. Let’s them sit on the side and watch as the body is blown to bits. In the end he wedges a chisel right here” he places a finger right between Kun’s eyebrows. “And then shatters the entire head with one blow of the hammer”

Kun shudders, unable to imagine that could happen to Jinyoung. As Jungwoo traces a hand down the veins on Jinyoung’s forearm, Kun doesn’t understand why it _should_ happen. Ten comes up behind them, having overheard the conversation, and digs his fingers into Kun’s shoulder.

Kun yelps in pain. Ten eyes Jungwoo darkly over the rim of the ceramic as he sips his tea. Kun frowns at this. Ten doesn’t get this look on his face unless he’s extremely distrustful of someone. Doyoung is hovering close but distracted still, by the contents of the cup.

Ten hisses at the spicy aftertaste of the tea, but otherwise betrays nothing on his face. He stares at Jinyoung for a second longer than he’s had the patience to look at any of the others. Then, he puts on his work-smile and turns to interrupt the anecdote Jungwoo has started to lighten the mood.

“You know”, Ten slings his arm around Kun and pulls him close, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they were real ange—” Ten says at the same time Doyoung knocks back his drink.

“HEY—” Jungwoo’s voice is sharp and uncharacteristically loud. Kun turns just in time to watch Doyoung swallow everything. His face contorts and he blinks repeatedly at the burn that scalds his tongue. Soon he breaks down into a fit of coughs.

“You shouldn’t have done that” Jungwoo chokes out. He looks terrified.

“Doyoung?” Ten watches his eyes fly to the statues and looks between them worriedly. Doyoung’s eyes widen in alarm even as he swallows spit to alleviate the burn on his tongue. He turns red even as he takes a step ahead and wobbles. Ten flies to steady him.

Doyoung knocks the cup out of his hand. “Ten, take him away” Doyoung shakes his head trying to clear his hazy vision. “You have to take Kun away now” he says quietly.

“What are you talking about?” Ten shakes him. He snaps his fingers in front of Doyoung’s face but Doyoung can’t seem to focus. He keeps looking back at the statues, terror slowly mounting. His face crumples with disbelief and gives way to fear.

Kun puts himself in Doyoung’s line of sight, his untouched drink left to Jungwoo who is out of earshot.

“Doyoung. Tell me what’s happening” Kun says sternly. Doyoung grabs his wrist and finally looks him in the eye.

“Take a look around you” Doyoung says. His grip tightens. “This is the fate of every Guardian angel whose orb ran out”

The air feels heavy and suffocating all of a sudden. Doyoung slumps against Kun. He can feel his pulse in his ears. Kun gulps, feeling the hair on the back of his neck rise. He suppresses a shudder.

“Leave” Doyoung says. “He’s close. He’s coming” he begs, hand reaching for his tomahawk. “I’ll keep him here. Leave”

Kun stops his hand in a flash. “You will do no such thing” he says resolutely. He and Ten exchange a look the second they feel Taeil’s pressing energy come nearer.

Ten growls angrily and turns to Jungwoo.

“What did you give him?” He pulls out his blowgun. “What did you give us all?”

Jungwoo takes a step back. The only thing between Ten and Jungwoo is a tray and a teacup, “This is a misunderstanding. I assure you there is a valid explanation—”

“Kun, you have to leave me here and run” Doyoung pushes himself off Kun but wobbles again. This makes Ten all the more furious.

Kun holds Doyoung steady. His friend is inebriated (hopefully not poisoned) and upset. Johnny is very, very far away and the window of time to get back to him is closing fast because Doyoung is compromised. Ten _will_ stab Jungwoo through the throat without listening to reason if left alone for a moment longer. The Peacekeeper is not too far. The sprouting worry in his mind settles and Kun snaps back into his senses.

“ _Ten!_ ” he yells. “We’re leaving”

There is no room to argue. Kun carries Doyoung despite his weak protests, an arm behind Doyoung’s back, another under his knees. His wings slide out of his back and he lifts off the ground with strong, steady flaps. Ten follows suit.

“Please, if you just let me explain. I can help—” Jungwoo tries.

“You have done enough” Ten stares him down from where he hovers almost a floor above. He flies after Kun out of the courtyard, leaving Jungwoo alone with the statues that were too good to be carved.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ re: y'all ever just have those days?  
> \+ are you laughing at my choice of title yet?  
> \+ to yell: [twt](https://twitter.com/nanahyvck) and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/nanahyvck)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please ignore all factual inaccuracies 
> 
> ready?

/

They make it across the water before Ten sways unsteadily mid-air. He drops down as best as he can without careening off his flight path. He lurches to a stop and lands painfully on his knees.

“Doyoung, eyes on me” Kun says quietly as he walks up to Ten. He sets Doyoung on the ground who slumps against him sleepily but Kun doesn’t let him sleep for the little nagging fear that he might never open his eyes again. Doyoung jerks awake every time Kun calls him. If it was up to him, he’d keep his eyelids taped open.

“How much did you have?” Kun asks Ten, since he’s determined it’s not poison that they’ve ingested. In Doyoung’s words, he’s drunk.

“Three hasty sips” Ten sighs, wiping a hand tiredly across his face. His ankle throbs when he stands. Kun notices him wince and he doesn’t say anything. “I feel tipsy. Nothing that can’t be fixed with a splash of cool water”

The water is icy cold. They splash some on Doyoung’s face too before setting off for Johnny’s. Doyoung hasn’t stopped apologizing ever since they left the courtyard. Somehow, he thinks, it’s his fault they are in this situation at all. Ten doesn’t say a thing except occasionally fly closer to hold on to Kun’s coat when the air currents are too strong for him to fly against.

Doyoung comes to, slowly, from the cold blasts of air that close up his ears, make him sniffle and send shivers down his spine.

It takes longer than expected to reach Johnny’s. Kun leaves Doyoung to Ten. He knows Johnny is not home but he does his cursory check around the house anyway. Thanks to his habit, he finds an address scribbled hastily onto a sticky note left near Johnny’s bed.

Johnny’s friends wanted to take him away to a place with no familiar faces. It’s clear as day. It’s saves Kun a wild goose chase but this address is on the very outskirts of Ten and Doyoung’s sector. Which is farther away than Kun has time to _fly_ to it.

Kun comes out to the front yard and paces back and forth, trying not to descend into that pool of helplessness, before Ten snatches the piece of paper from his hand.

“I know where this is” he frowns. Doyoung leans over to look as well. He feels infinitely better than how he had started out. A little weak in the knees still but better.

“So do I” he turns to Kun. “Hands in mine” he says as he grabs Ten’s.

Kun puts his hand in Doyoung’s and in an instant, finds himself in an unfamiliar room. He feels his insides align back and realises that they’ve landed in the club in a lounge above the dancefloor. Overjoyed and relieved, he runs down. Ten and Doyoung are on his heels.

The music is too loud, too coarse, there are people everywhere but Kun’s eyes land on Johnny immediately in the vast volume that is this dimly lit space. He finds space to settle on an exposed ventilation duct not too far away from Johnny, with a little over seven minutes to spare. He has a good view from up here and shuffles aside to let Ten and Doyoung join him.

There are other Guardians in the club, all similarly perched at various vantage points with respect to their assignments. Some nod at Kun, acknowledging his presence and others look curiously at Ten and Doyoung.

Johnny has never been just an assignment to Kun. He’s always been more than. More than just his human. He doesn’t have a name for it but he acknowledges that losing Johnny scares him more than seeing himself turn to stone.

Doyoung puts a hand on his thigh when Kun checks the area around Johnny frantically looking for clues. And it’s warning enough not to do anything stupid. Kun knows this. A brief glance up at Doyoung and Kun knows his friends are going to be fine. They look exhausted but Ten has a firm grip on Doyoung who’s tucked under his chin without protest.

Kun has been around hundreds of people; saints, murderers and all but none have brought him to the edge as Johnny has. He turns to Johnny. It’s pity he feels briefly. He looks lonely at the bar. Kun just wants to hold his hand and walk him home.

 _Soon_ , he thinks, momentarily forgetting the disaster that is to come. Hanging around Doyoung all these years had made him more of a realist than he already was, more than was required for his job but being stupidly optimistic, that he’d picked up from Johnny.

It comes to him only when the timer goes off; a minute to go.

He sees a suited man bump into Johnny. Johnny is a little drunk but they resolve the situation amiably. The man orders from the bar and turns away from Johnny, eyeing the lady two seats down. He pulls out a lighter and pops a cigarette into his mouth. Somehow, he has snuck these items past security. Kun’s first red flag.

Not few seconds later, the bartender (“he’s new”, Ten comments) spills an order on the counter, no thanks to another clumsy oaf on Johnny’s other side. Johnny’s jacket sleeve is wet and he hasn’t noticed. The second red flag. Kun is ready to push off the duct because he’s 100% sure this is an impending fire incident. Suddenly the image of Johnny with a burnt arm flashes past in his mind and it terrifies him.

He sees another patron heading toward the one with the lighter, not with the intention of making acquaintance but the encounter is sure to send the lighter flying out and set the table on fire.

The window to act on his decision comes when Doyoung pulls his hands away from his thigh and into his own pocket.

Kun scrambles to crouch on his toes and dives for Johnny. He hears Doyoung yell after him but he crashes into Johnny none too gently and pulls his arm away violently. Suddenly he’s shoved into Johnny’s chest from behind and the next second, the table is alit just as he had predicted.

He’s pulled away from the counter hastily and when he looks up, Johnny is staring back at him in concern.

“Hi?” Johnny offers a small smile, glancing back at the table where the fire is extinguished and the culprit is swiftly apprehended. “Are you alright?” he asks. The fright seems to have sobered him up considerably.

Kun’s eyes are wide in surprise. He has to answer but his mouth is dry. He swallows and straightens but his head is a mess of questions.

“Yes” he manages, “Your sleeve—” he looks pointedly at Johnny’s jacket till he realises it was soiled. When Johnny is busy pulling it off, Kun turns around on the spot and looks for his friends but they aren’t where he left them. He can’t seem to spot the other guardians either. His staff won’t come out on command and his wings don’t slide out on will. His neckpiece has disappeared and his back throbs painfully, hot and sticky.

He wants to look for his friends. Johnny is safe for now. He doesn’t understand what’s happening.

Johnny _saw_ him.

When he tries to walk away to look through the crowds, Johnny pulls him back. His hand lands on Kun’s neck but he pulls back because it’s wet and shimmery.

 _Glitter_ , Kun realises. His heart sinks to the floor. It could only mean that his wings have been taken away. That’s why it hurts.

Johnny looks at his hands and back at him curiously.

“Sorry, some kids snuck in body glitter” Kun frowns, then nods back at Johnny apologetically. The lies come easily. “I should go” he says, walking backwards.

All this time he wanted to be human just so Johnny would see him, recognize him and smile back at him. But now that it seems like he is one, all he wants to do is run away.

“Wait” Johnny starts after him. “How did you know to pull me away? I—”

The music stops abruptly. The manager asks everyone to evacuate momentarily and there’s a collective groan all around. Kun gets pulled away with the crowd but Johnny scrambles to follow.

Kun feels Johnny’s hands on his shoulder, guiding him steadily through the crowd out of the exit. For the first time he feels Johnny’s proper weight and warmth and it muddles his brain.

Johnny releases him a bit further down the sidewalk. He has questions but they wither in his throat once he sees Kun push his hair back and look at him.

“Something on my face?” Kun asks when he catches Johnny staring.

“Just…glitter” Johnny swallows harshly. “I—never mind. You saved me. I wanted to say thank you”

It was Kun’s job. He wasn’t used to thank yous. It leaves him speechless for a second. He tries to respond but snaps his mouth shut and nods in acknowledgement instead.

Johnny whistles for a cab. They both get on after determining that their friends have left them (and because Johnny insists, they might as well share if they're going the same way. Kun doesn’t know where the surge of confidence comes from but he agrees, even though he has no clue what he’s supposed to do or where he’s supposed to go after that).

It's a long way to Johnny’s but it’s a relief to the old house come into view.

Kun has calmed down considerably. Johnny keeps basic conversation going which is both familiar and makes him set aside his problems. They exchange names and Johnny can’t seem to keep his eyes off Kun for long.

“Do you want to come in for a drink?” Johnny keeps the door of the cab open. “It’s the least I can do to thank you”

“It’s fine” Kun shakes his head, “I should really get home”. Where that is, Kun doesn’t know. Johnny’s home was the closest thing to one, on this plane. There have been hundreds of assignments but he has to remind himself that he is now in corporeal form. He can’t just waltz into anyone’s place without getting the cops set on him. That’s troublesome. He should go away but how he’s going to pay for the cab, he doesn’t know either. The problems keep piling up.

“Are you sure?” Johnny eyes light up mischievously, “my side still hurts from where you tackled me earlier today. Don’t you want to check up on me?” Johnny pleads sweetly.

“You’ll live” Kun chuckles but Johnny sees him hesitate. He offers a hand. Kun bites his lip, unsure, but takes it.

 _For tonight_ , he thinks, _for now_. Johnny pays for the cab and they head for the house. The more Kun walks towards it, the more reality starts setting in. He can’t casually phase through walls now. He hasn’t heard from his disciplinary officers yet; no one has come to take him away. It’s tough to say if this is temporary; whether this form has a timer on it before he hardens to stone.

No matter what the case, this will be the last time he sees Johnny.

When he realises that, he stops right where he is. Johnny’s broad back becomes smaller and smaller as he walks further into the living room and collapses onto his favourite couch.

They’ve been this way several times before. Johnny on the couch and Kun under the windchime leaning against the doorway. Kun can’t resist the urge to touch it. And when it rings the way Kun has always made his presence known in the house, Johnny’s eyes snap up to meet his.

It’s apparent in the way his eyes shine and the smile that blooms across his face that the sound brings back a flood of memories for Johnny. A certain unmistakeable yearning for a sign that had long since left him.

Kun shrinks a little, not used to the fact the Johnny can see him.

“It’s pretty” he says “I couldn’t resist”

“It is” Johnny’s eyes never leave his “…pretty”. It looks like he’s trying to remember Kun from somewhere or memorizing his face. “It was a gift”

He goes to the kitchen and returns with a can of beer which Kun gladly accepts. Johnny puts on the television and gestures for Kun to sit beside him on the sofa. On the way to it, Kun trips over the corner of a box but Johnny catches his forearm and steadies him. Oh how their roles have reversed.

“I’ll be right back” Johnny makes sure he’s fine before running off to the kitchen again. He returns with a warm, wet cloth, kicking aside the bothersome box before settling down next to Kun. He drinks from his can and gestures for Kun to turn around. “Let me help with that. It’s been bothering me for a while now”

The glitter going down Kun’s neck has been bothering him in the worst of ways. Every time he looks at Kun he imagines lathering that all across his neck and down his front and pressing him into his sheets. But he had called Kun here with good intentions and he’s not going to jump someone who saved his life just because he’s sad and horny.

Kun protests but Johnny is good at convincing people. It’s partly what he did for a job. So Kun makes a deal for above the collar and Johnny agrees that it’s good enough for now.

It’s silent except for the sounds from the television. Kun feels goose bumps rise on his skin when Johnny wipes down his neck. He’s never experienced that before and he stubbornly refuses to make a sound. But the silence bothers him a little. There has never been so awkward a silence in this house before.

“How’s your, uh” Kun fumbles for words. “Does it still hurt where I bumped into you?” he asks.

Johnny stills for a second then “Ah yes so much” he exaggerates. “It must be purple and blue and so big. It hurts so much I can’t even turn around or bend properly” Johnny can’t keep a straight face for long. Kun can hear him smile towards the end and it makes him grin.

“Johnny, can I ask you something?” Kun turns halfway around. “What did I bump into earlier?” he asks and sees Johnny freeze. “I mean it was heavy, it hurt a little” he mumbles and trails away, looking pointedly at the box Johnny had kicked away.

Kun knew exactly what it was. Johnny needed to talk about it to someone, and he was going to take advantage of this body to listen to Johnny do just that.

“It’s nothing. Just things from my workplace” Johnny apologises then. “I was let go a few days ago”

“that’s why you were at the bar?”

“Hmm yes” Johnny says. “There, all done” it’s clear that he doesn’t want to talk. “You can use the bathroom later”

Johnny leaves to dispose of the washcloth. When he returns, Kun is scratching his head looking at him sheepishly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I left my wallet and phone in the bar” Kun admits. _More lies_ , he feels guilty about that. If Johnny doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s best to leave him be. There were other ways to make him feel better.

“You can get it tomorrow” Johnny drinks from his can. “Jaehy—My friend says it’s a good place. They’ll hold onto it for you. Unless, it’s really important and you need it immediately…?”

“Actually, I just thought you looked sad and maybe dog videos could help but—” Kun deflates, lower lip jutting out but Johnny’s eyes shine happily. He laughs and pulls out his own phone.

“I have plenty” Johnny grins. “More beer?” he doesn’t wait for an answer before bringing more cans out and settling beside Kun, shoulder pressed to his.

They forget about the television. It’s only their heads close together for the better part of an hour cooing at dogs and laughter bubbling between them. It’s a relief to hear Johnny laugh.

“Hey do you know this channel where—” the rest of it is drowned out as Kun shifts back to take a good look at Johnny. It’s the happiest Johnny has been all week. His face is bright as he explains how many dogs this guy has, their names, when he got them and Johnny’s personal favourite. Kun nods along at appropriate times.

He has seen the very same videos with Johnny countless times before but now he gets more than a giggle and sigh of content. Johnny comments on the best parts and he’s so close to Kun’s ear, it makes Kun’s insides flip.

“You might be really good at ASMR” Kun comments nonchalantly, taking a swig from his can.

“You think so?” Johnny is a little drunk, he talks slowly as a smile blooms on his face. “Why?”

“Your voice is really comforting. If you had podcasts, I’d listen to them all day” Kun nods. “Or _radio_? Imagine everyone going home tired from work tuning in to listen to you. I mean if _I_ had encouragement in your voice daily, I’d actually want to go to work” 

Johnny laughs shyly. “Actually, I was planning to apply to my friend’s workplace. He’s does the 10pm ‘Dream city’ segment”

It’s difficult to sound surprised because Kun already knows Jaehyun but he’s surprised that Johnny has made up his mind. He’s happy to praise and encourage.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but there’s an application form filled and ready in that drawer right there” Johnny sinks back into the couch and sighs.

Kun sits up so suddenly it startles Johnny. “Really?” Kun looks at him in disbelief. “Show me!”

Johnny nervously brings the envelope to him. It’s sealed and addressed to the radio station, completed full with stamps. All that was left to do was post it.

While Kun was away, looking to find ways to save himself to save Johnny, Johnny was busy preparing his applications. He wasn’t curled up on his bed moping. He was distraught but not so much as to stop functioning altogether. He didn’t need Kun to save him from anything.

Kun had severely underestimated him.

“Johnny” Kun gives the envelope back to him. “Let’s post it”

Johnny snorts as if that is the most ridiculous thing he has heard anyone say. But Kun is absolutely serious and Johnny’s laugh withers. He gulps.

“Wait, Kun I—” Johnny stutters “they need a video. I haven’t made one”. There’s that excuse. Kun realises that Johnny is a little afraid. He’s sure he wants to do this, but he’s hesitant about taking the first step.

“Videos and interviews are usually second stage. Let’s go” Kun grins at him and stands, brushing off the creases on his pants.

Johnny protests but Kun has a counter for everything. It’s not overbearing, but Kun is determined and relentless as can be, for a stranger Johnny met not a few hours ago.

“I saw a post box on the way here” Kun smiles and stretches his hand for Johnny to take. He nods in the direction of the door. Johnny gives up right there and takes his hand. Kun misses the way Johnny smiles fondly at him as he leads him out of the door.

They walk down a block. Johnny sways a little so Kun takes his hand and keeps him close. Johnny doesn’t know if it’s liquid courage or Kun’s hand tightening around his reassuringly, that makes him push that envelope into the post box.

He follows Kun home obediently. At the door Kun grins at him proudly.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

“I don’t think my brain has registered what I’ve done yet” Johnny thought he’d regret it but “I feel lighter. It’s a step in the direction I’ve always wanted”

Kun lets go of his hand to smack his arm. “You’ll be fine. You did good”

Then he asks for leave. He really should figure out what’s happening to him but Johnny insists that he stay the night (“nothing’s working at this time of the night” he says). And so he’s in the house again. In front of him, the sail of the windchime smacks into Johnny’s face and Kun cackles till his sides hurt at the sight of an angry red patch on Johnny’s forehead.

Up in Johnny’s bedroom, Kun’s takes in everything, naturally falling into his standard routine checks. Johnny rambles on beside him (“let me lend you some clothes” he says “and it’s troublesome pulling out a mattress now. The other rooms are a mess too. Just sleep here. The bed’s big enough for both of us”) and Kun hears none of it. He snaps out of it only when Johnny gives him a shirt.

“oh, thank you” Kun pulls off his own. The shirt he’s supposed to wear is probably Johnny’s cousin’s, looking at the size. He catches Johnny staring at him and makes a curious noise. Johnny turns around abruptly, apologizing.

“I’ll leave you to it” he says “you can use the bathroom if you want”. Afterall, Kun’s back was still a mess.

“It’s fine” Kun wipes down his back with his own shirt as best as he can. It feels too intrusive to bathe in the house of someone he met tonight for (seemingly) the first time. He hastily pulls the clean shirt over his head in an attempt to hide his reddening ears.

“Hey come on out over here. I want to show you something” Johnny’s voice sounds distant. As soon as Kun pulls his head free of the neckline, he sees Johnny’s leg disappear through the dormer onto the sloping roof.

“Wait—” Kun panics, rushing after him. He did not account for this. Because there isn’t an hourglass around to show him the time or send him a ping of warning “Johnny!” he yells, but sees Johnny smile back at him instead.

“Come on out. It’s super safe” he says and not a second later, wobbles dangerously. Kun swears it’s easier to predict what children are up to than Johnny.

Kun swallows thickly but follows him out mechanically, just as he had for the past seven and some years. He reaches Johnny very quickly, steadies him and makes him sit right where they are. It’s where he was used to sitting on the eaves and watching Johnny work on his lawn.

Johnny looks a little bummed out.

“Hey” Kun elbows him gently.

“Ah, it’s a little stuffy out here isn’t it?” he asks nervously.

Kun pulls his knees up to his chest and fully turns to look at him. Johnny can’t seem to look away. _There he goes again_ , Kun thinks, with a gaze that’s outlining Kun’s face as if to memorize his features.

“You didn’t bring me out here to talk about the weather, did you?” his question breaks the spell. He can feel the air warm around them as Johnny’s smile slowly expands.

Johnny falls onto his back, covering his face but unable to hide the embarrassment that rolls off his body. “I wanted to show you the stars, but it’s cloudy”

Kun glances at the sky and bursts out laughing. He could count the stars he saw on one hand.

“Don’t laugh at me” Johnny says weakly and pulls him down to lie beside him. “I haven’t had the best week”

Kun is silent for a good minute, unable to stop himself from recalling the events that day and blaming himself for his incompetence. All of that had bought him here, just for Johnny to say those words to him in person.

He looks at Johnny imploringly. He feels thoroughly guilty.

“I am so sorry” he says carefully, whispering between them.

“About laughing?” Johnny asks cheekily.

Kun groans, “about your job”

“Don’t worry about it” Johnny is quick to reassure him even if he hasn’t come to terms with the fact himself. “Nothing you could’ve ever done would have prevented it”

It’s what his friends have been telling him, but to hear so from Johnny is a small forgiveness he allows himself. He nods back.

Johnny looks at him like something about him is so fascinating. Kun holds his gaze and realises that Johnny looks pretty red faced. Was it the drink or is it the heat? Kun wonders, but Johnny’s eyes flick down to his lips. _Oh, surely not?_

Johnny turns away quickly. The silence makes Kun’s heartbeat seem loud enough for Johnny to hear. Not for the first time, he's thankful that Johnny is talkative.

“I haven’t told my parents yet” Johnny reveals. “not even my best friend”

“what are you afraid of?”

“Disappointing them” he says in a small voice. Kun has to lean closer to listen. “It’s difficult to tell them. I promised them they’d have nothing to worry about and now it feels like I’m undeserving of their trust anymore”

“Johnny, I’m sure they don’t care about your job more than they care about you”

“I—I know that. And I don’t want my friends to say ‘I told you so’. I _know_ so, I don’t want to hear it” Johnny says indignantly.

“They only want you to be the best version of yourself. Hopefully. Don’t write them off like that” Kun turns to his side and props his head on his arm.

It’s like all the arguments fizzle out in his throat. Johnny frowns. “I have always been taught to do everything on my own. Now it’s difficult to ask for help even when people around me offer it with good intentions. I keep making excuses. Everyone has their own shit to take care of and it bothers me to bother them” Johnny explains. “The truth is, I’ve always seemed dependable to them and now I’m afraid of what they’ll think of me”

Kun lies down again to face Johnny. “They’ll understand that you have worries just as every other human does. They’ll be relieved to know that you think them reliable enough to share your troubles with them. They’ll never think less of you because they know you tried your best”

“How do you make it all sound that simple?”, Johnny shuffles closer.

“Take it from someone who’s been there” Kun smiles bitterly. His own friends are out there somewhere. “There is no shame in asking for help”

They turn to the cloudy night sky at Johnny’s quiet hum of affirmation. He seems relaxed, comfortable and a little sleepy. Kun can’t help but tease him.

“You could talk to your friends now” he suggests. Johnny is unsure about that but Kun helps when he feels an excuse coming up instead. “Want me to hold your hand again?” he offers playfully.

Johnny’s chuckle reverberates through Kun like wind slipping through trees. He’s pretty sure there’s one growing within his chest this very moment.

It surprises him when Johnny takes his hand.

“No take backs” his smile doesn’t wane as he checks all his pockets for his phone. “I think I left it inside” Johnny is disappointed.

That’s not the only thing he forgot inside, Kun notices. His glasses are missing too. Perhaps that is why Johnny keeps looking at him, as he is now. Kun didn’t notice when he got so close.

“Bummer” Kun murmurs. Suddenly he’s aware that Johnny also hasn’t let go of his hand.

Johnny considers it for a moment. He could just lean in but he pulls away instead, Kun’s hand still tightly in his. If Johnny had asked, Kun would have let him. If Johnny had kissed him, Kun would have kissed back. Johnny covers his face in mortification and disbelief, while Kun is certain that tree in his chest is about to break his ribs and bust out.

“Could you help me in?” Johnny asks slowly. “It’s embarrassing to admit but I may fall off after all”

Kun helps him up wordlessly. When they stand on the edge of the roof, at a height which is sure to result in several fractures if they were to slip, Kun remembers he no longer has wings to depend on.

It’s not going to stop him from making sure Johnny reaches his bed in one piece.

He smiles at the man, “don’t let go”

Kun tucks Johnny in and Johnny mumbles sleepily “I’m glad you stayed over”

“I’m glad I could help” Kun says back but Johnny is so tired, he falls asleep. Kun brushes his hair out of his face and smooths out his frown. Johnny groans and curls himself around Kun’s arm.

Kun replaces his arm with Johnny’s whale plushie and settles down on the floor beside the bed, his back to Johnny. He has no intention to sleep on the bed. But this body is tired so he decides to leave everything for tomorrow.

In the morning, he finds himself on the bed, shirt ridden up. Johnny is still asleep, whale plushie pressed to his chest. His very shirtless chest spotted with glitter. Kun flusters, sliding off the bed. It’s a little past 10am, but he remembers it was a humid night. It’s more likely that Johnny got glitter all over himself when he tried to get Kun on the bed, than anything else.

When Johnny wakes up, his side is empty. He remembers everything from the night before and sits up suddenly, looking around for Kun.

Kun is behind him, in front of the mirror. “Hey” he says. He had taken the liberty to wipe himself down with a wet towel.

Johnny smiles. “You’re still here” he sounds relieved.

“Didn’t want to let you wake up to an empty house” Kun shrugs before turning away.

Johnny is struck dumb then, mumbling back his thanks. His ears turn red as he tries to smooth down his bedhead.

“Do you have a spare brush? and I’d be grateful for a t-shirt too” Kun says then, “something throwaway, that you don’t really need anymore” he’s just draped a towel over his shoulder for now.

Johnny leaps into action. He lends Kun a brush and they end up in front of the bathroom mirror together. It’s silent, comfortable and something about the whole moment is oddly domestic. Johnny sees the glitter on his chest and chokes. Kun pats his back once and apologizes with the brush in his mouth. Johnny’s red face is adorable, and so is his urgency to remove himself from the bathroom.

“’ll get you a shirt” he almost knocks his head against the door when he runs past Kun.

Johnny is wearing one when Kun comes out. When Kun turns around to wear his, Johnny’s hands are suddenly on his back.

“What happened here?” Johnny rubs a thumb up the scars on his wing bones. He looms over Kun and he sounds heartbroken. Kun lets him examine them for a while but doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know how to because they’ll just be more lies.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer” Johnny backs away. But it just makes Kun feel shitty. He couldn’t deny Johnny anything. It’s just always been so.

“It was an accident” it’s only half a lie. He pulls on the shirt. “I should get going”

Johnny once again, convinces him to stay for breakfast. He makes pancakes and Kun’s offer to help gets shot down because he’s a guest. Johnny brags about his pancake making skills and Kun is mildly curious about it. He takes a look around the kitchen; old habits die hard but is shoo-ed out of the kitchen quickly. Vaguely he remembers Johnny almost burning down the kitchen once.

Johnny places Kun’s plate in front of him and it’s only when Kun smells the syrup dribbling off it, does he realise how hungry he actually is.

Johnny settles happily across him with his own plate. “Ah, I forgot to bring out the glasses”

Kun offers to bring them from the kitchen. Quickly he pulls them out of the cabinet but Johnny comes up behind him.

“Oh you found them” Johnny laughs, “I remembered I never told you where they were”

Kun stills, smile dropping off his face. He’d known exactly where to find the glasses because he’d seen Johnny do it a few thousand times.

Johnny should find that very, _very_ suspicious but he just smiles at Kun kindly. It makes him squirm uncomfortably to fool Johnny like this.

He forces a laugh. “First timer’s luck?” he shrugs. It makes him _sick_. The sooner he gets out of here the better. All he’s told Johnny are lies. Johnny did not deserve someone like him.

They eat breakfast with minimal conversation. It looks comfortable but Kun’s inside are churning with reason and self loathe. Johnny offers to book a cab which Kun is thankful for. The bell rings when Johnny is clearing up the table.

“I’ll get that” Kun goes to answer the door.

He gasps when he sees who’s behind the door. A wave of relief washes over him and then he feels like he could cry. Johnny comes up behind him before he can say anything.

It’s the mailman.

“Package for Johnny Seo” he says, only it’s _Ten_. He pulls his cap down and winks at Kun as he hands away the package. “Sign here please”

There’s a proper bruise blooming on his cheekbone. Kun frowns at it but Ten turns away.

Johnny has noticed it’s a different guy from usual but he doesn’t comment. There’s an ID hanging around his neck and it’s not unusual for mailmen to work in rotations, he reasons.

“Anybody call a cab?” Ten asks as he’s stepping away after Johnny thanks him.

“That’s ours” Johnny turns to Kun. “I’ll walk you out” Johnny leaves to bring his wallet while Kun watches Ten smile, tip his cap and disappear around the gate.

Outside the cab, Johnny pecks Kun on the cheek.

“Thanks for saving my life last night” He smiles at Kun when his ears redden and pulls at his own because he’s sure they are too. “Thanks for staying”

Kun squeezes Johnny’s hand. “Thanks for letting me stay” he doesn’t want to let go, but he has to.

Johnny turns to the driver. He’s just a boy. A university student surely, trying to make ends meet. Johnny pays for Kun’s trip home and asks the boy to drop him on his doorstep. He steps away to smile at Kun as the cars pulls out, one which Kun returns happily and it’s only when the sail of the windchime smacks him in the face again does he realize that he never asked for Kun’s number.

“Stop the car please” Kun says as soon as they turn away from Johnny’s street. The car is parked neatly and Kun thinks about getting out.

“Ten” he calls out instead, as firmly as he could ignoring the way his stomach drops in fear of what the future holds for him.

Ten materializes immediately on his left and grabs his hand. He’s dressed as flamboyantly as he usually is but he looks tired. The driver seems unfazed but that’s a detail Kun doesn’t have space for, on his panic priority list. He is unable to speak, so Ten starts.

“After what happened yesterday” he says, which both of them refuse to name, “I went to rage at the Elder. I was pretty sure he’d rip me limb from limb but I cried all night and he comforted me instead” Ten smiles wryly.

Kun’s apology is stuck in his throat but Ten continues, “no one remembers you back home. They’ve made it look like you never existed. We’re the only ones who know, likely because we saw it happen”

Kun remembers his cosy home high up in the clouds and it reminds him how he no longer has wings to reach it. His people not remembering him is a loss he is yet to understand. His ocular powers have disappeared but overall it feels like an exile, which is more readily acceptable to him. He is grateful his friends haven’t forgotten him.

“Thought I’d thrash his place to feel better, blame him for _something_ ” Ten chuckles dryly. “Imagine flying to a Peacekeeper’s house asking for a fight”

Kun turns to him, eyes wide. Is that the reason Ten has bruises? Would Elder Moon _truly—?_

“We’ve severely misunderstood him” Ten reassures him quickly, pulling their clasped hands onto his lap. “It’s a long story. Jungwoo, the boy, that human _—_ _he_ is the sculptor”

So, what they assumed could not be real. He will not turn into a statue. _But then what is to happen now?_ Kun is confused and surprised.

“And Elder Moon” Ten says, “is the Guardian for forgotten angels”

Suddenly things make a lot more sense. The way Elder Moon had scrutinized him. He knew what was going to happen. Kun feels utterly lost for words and foolish now.

“which is why he has made sure you now have a place to stay” Ten swipes his thumb across Kun’s knuckles absentmindedly.

“Oh” Kun breathes heavily. “is this temporary?” he dares ask even though he knows the answer from within.

“I’m afraid not” Ten’s voice is small but the answer is still crushing as expected.

“You” he calls the driver.

“I have a name—” the boy sighs.

“Drive” that’s all Ten says before turning back to Kun again. He pulls out a card from his pocket and hands it over to Kun. It’s an ID. “That’s temporary too. It was made on short notice”

“ _Qian Kun?_ ” Kun reads out loud. It doesn’t have a photograph of him.

“It suits you” Ten squeezes the hand in his. “Will you go back to him?”

 _Johnny,_ Ten means. A dull ache settles in Kun’s chest.

“No” that is his definite answer. “to know things about him that he hasn’t himself told me” Kun explains, “now that I am no longer his guardian, it is inappropriate”. And so Kun resolves to keep his distance till he forgets about Johnny and unlearns. He’s sure that at the very least, if he stays away long enough, Johnny would forget about him first. How long does it take to forget a stranger you’ve known for a few hours?

Ten refuses to divulge any more information about where they’re headed. Instead he yaps on about things Kun only registers belatedly (“you don’t have to worry about Johnny” he says “A substitute came in this morning. A rookie. Called himself _Donghyuck_. He’s a tiny little thing, cheeky but promising. We’ll look out for him if you want us to”)

Now that he’s human, Ten is not supposed to show himself for so long in front of Kun. The questions are many, and the one in front of him, Ten cannot avoid forever.

“What happened to your face?” Kun asks him.

Ten turns his face away to hide it from Kun immediately. “Nothing”

That’s just like him. Kun would have to circle back to it.

“Is Doyoung here?” he asks, looking at the passenger seat and Ten swallows loudly beside him, his head hung in shame and guilt. “Ten?” Kun asks again sternly and Ten has no option but to concede.

“We fought last night” Ten admits. Kun’s heart drops. Not in a three odd century they’d all known each other had Ten and Doyoung fought. No matter how much Ten drives Doyoung up the wall. But now they’d fought enough to visibly bruise.

“I haven’t seen him since” Ten chokes out.

Everything crashes down on Kun in that instant. The blind, thoughtless leap out of whatever love he had for Johnny. The loss of his work, the loss of his way home and the loss of his very identity press down on him. He had become _human,_ the very thing he had never imagined he’d be.

It was common for Ten to frequently take on an earthly form to meddle with his assignments. He could see Ten around if Ten wished to show himself. Doyoung though, only materializes as himself in front of humans when they are on the verge of giving up. He appears when his assignments are paranoid, driven to the edge of doubt or madness, and he appears to them like a hallucination.

And so Kun understands that he has lost something extremely precious. No matter how many well-meaning warnings he received to spend his ichor wisely, he could not heed them. It almost seems like he had exchanged one life for another; replaced his dear friend with a human. The fact impales him right through the chest and renders him immobile.

He may never see Doyoung again.

_—Extra—_

Doyoung yells as soon as Kun leaps and tries grab his shirt. But Kun slips away because Doyoung’s hand is full. Ten wants to fly down but hovers above them instead, close still to Doyoung. The fire is taken care of but both Kun and Ten wait with bated breath for something to happen.

Something like Kun suddenly going stiff and turning into stone.

But it doesn’t happen.

“Kun!” Ten voice booms over the music but Kun can’t seem to hear him for some reason. Doyoung gulps audibly behind him. Ten turns to him, confusion clear on his face but he finds Doyoung just the same. When Ten looks at his palm closed tight and quivering, Doyoung opens it slowly.

A black fabric hovers above his palm.

When they turn to look for their friend, he’s looking back where they are but he can’t see them.

“Wait” Ten holds Doyoung back from jumping down immediately. He brings his blowgun to his lips and darts Johnny.

“What are you _doing—_ ” Doyoung’s question withers as soon as the fabric in his hand burns to ash and fades into the air. Below them, Johnny approaches Kun. His arm recoils swiftly after _touching_ Kun.

Doyoung complain in disbelief is just a strangled noise. Guardians may not take on corporeal forms to approach their assignments. Ten hadn’t flinched and Doyoung notices that Ten seems to have realised something. It’s proven true when Ten brings the blowgun to his mouth for the second time.

“Ten?” Doyoung does not like what he’s thinking. The music stops abruptly. 

In the commotion, the dart flies and burrows neatly into Kun’s chest. His face flushes red when Johnny leads him out of the club.

Ten turns to Doyoung. It’s hard to state the obvious.

“He’s _human_ ” 

/


End file.
